Okay, so I took a slightly longer break than I said. I needed it. It’s been a crazy-busy time and while I wish I’d documented much of what happened, I don’t know when it would have happened.

If you’ve emailed me in that time and I haven’t responded, it’s because I don’t know which direction is up most days. But in a good way.

So, do you want the short version?

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I haven’t copped out and written a post with dots in a long time. For some reason I’m in the mood to post but don’t really have anything to write about, or the brain power to devise something. So dots, you get.

• You know the first one, right? Of course. I’m going to beg you to go vote for LiveFeed. We need to $10,000! Our founder, Tom, has a plan to turn it into $150,000. I don’t know how, but I trust it’ll work. But first we have to win the money! We’re around 200 votes behind. If every single one of you votes today, that’ll put us over the top. If those of you who have already voted get just one friend to vote, that’s all it’ll take. That’s it. How simple? So simple. So do it. Please? You’ll even get some great free music if you email your vote confirmation and address to me (poppymom @ gmail.com). I’ll pass it along and you’ll get a great 12-song compilation of St. Louis musicians who support LiveFeed’s mission of aiding hungry kids in St. Louis.
• Speaking of music, I’m ashamed of how much I love $5 Fridays at Amazon’s MP3 store. Yes, I love my local record store. But damn. $5 for full albums. I’m downloading the new Animal Collective right now.
• I now have two tickets to see Wilco in Bloomington, Indiana, on April 16th. For some reason, I feel relieved.
• There might be fun in store tonight. I joined the StL Fish Fry Crew, so the family will dine tonight in an unfamiliar church basement. Somehow, I don’t think partaking in tons of fried food and beer is what Lent’s really about. I’m taken the Ben Franklin view of it: God gave us fish fries and beer in church basements because He love us and wants us to be happy. Afterwards, we’re going to try to hit the free Theodore show at the Mildred Kemper Museum of Art. And if I still need some fun, I’m going to ditch the spouse and kid and go see The Dirty 30s. Considering my recent energy level, it’ll be a miracle if I get through the fish fry. But dammit, I’m gonna dream big!
• I need to be writing my next piece for Throwback of the House, but I can’t bring myself to relive the experience of what I made and ate last night. Oh, it was terrifying. If you weren’t alive and eating solid foods in 1964, thank your lucky stars.
• I’m back on the coffee. It seems that the key to not having the coffee set fire to my esophagus involves eating food more than once every eight hours. Who knew? We’ve been drinking some coffee Brian got from one of his Brazilian co-workers. We don’t like it. And yet, we drink, instead of getting something new. We’ll suffer until it’s gone. This is how we compensate for the insane amount of money I spend on music – we drink shitty coffee that’s been gifted to us.
• My child is entertaining herself by getting naked and rolling a miniature basketball down the stairs. I organized eight bazillion new toys that she got for her birthday two weeks ago, and this is what does it for her. Remind me to save my money next year.

• My sleep patterns are so screwed. I didn’t go to bed until 4 a.m. after Saturday’s concert. Slept for four hours, woke up with Activ-On withdrawl, went back to sleep at 10 a.m. and didn’t wake until 2 p.m. Sunday night, no sleep until after 4 a.m. I’m tired as hell, but here it is, twenty til 3 a.m., and I’m awake.
• On the plus side I finished knitting a snood for Kristina’s greyhound and finished reading “Jesus Land”. I’m also relieved the fridge of the last of the Christmas stuffing.
• What really doesn’t make sense is I had a super relaxing day. I took myself to lunch at Iron Barley – crab cake and beer! Then I spent over an hour browsing the used CDs at Euclid, scoring the one Andrew Bird CD I lacked, a compilation of ’60s girl garage bands, and the issue of Mojo magazine with The Clash on the cover from a few months ago. I never get to do that, and it was pure bliss. I think every CD I’ve owned in the past 16 years has found its way to the used bin.
• Two late adolescent girls came in, and I overheard them talking about how, as much as they like downloads, there’s just something about having the actual recording in your hands. Hope for the future!
• Oops. I just got sucked into reading the year-end lists on Euclid’s site. The lack of sleep and whatever is causing it are also causing me to be easily distracted and scatterbrained.
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Now that the family’s gone and Clara Jane’s whooping it up at the hotel with two generations of grandparents, I think I finally have time to reflect upon what I’m thankful for this year.

• Family, of course. I’m so lucky to have a set of grandparents who are still able to travel to spend Thanksgiving with us. Granny made carrot pie with homemade crust, and chicken and dumplings. I’m lucky to have had the opportunity to spend the holiday with people I love who don’t create drama and stress. My little girl, with her big brain and sassy-pants who smooched me over and over and over before going to the hotel. My husband, who did 989 loads of dishes this week. My parents, who heap the love on Clara Jane. Awesome, fun cousins who’ve grown into snazzy adults. 
• Friends, and the ability to know when to hang on and when to let go. The ability to reconnect with friends I never thought I’d see again, and make new ones in unlikely places.
• Living in a place I adore. Having a home, not just in the sense of having a house filled with love. But having a community where I’m comfortable.
• Being so lucky to be in a position to jump on so many incredible opportunities, like running off to Nashville with Maggie last summer, running off to Philly with Brian, Kristina and Maggie in a few weeks. Sunday, I’m going to the symphony for the first time … I don’t know why I get to do so many fun, fulfilling things. I’m just glad I do.
• To health! Despite the hacking cough and the big booty, I’m not doing too shabby.
• I’m thankful my kitty, who went into hiding when Wendy’s dog arrived on Tuesday, has finally made an appearance.
• I’m grateful for a brighter future.
• I’m in love and terribly grateful for the Genius, to the tune of Sam & Dave’s “I Thank You”.

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That’s right. I have nothing to report. Today’s big news: my chest phlegm has loosened, thus meaning I won’t even have my cold to blog about for much longer. Which is fine. I’m sick of it.

Today I:

• drank a lot of Emergen-C. At this point I’ve developed a taste for it and I think I’m doing shots of it for fun. You know what would make it really good? Vodka.
• cleaned, although it’s not obvious. We’ve been swimming in clutter, which makes me nuts. That British guy who kicks cluttered people’s asses on Oprah was supposed to email me this week and tell me how to fix the clutter, but he didn’t. Probably because his inbox is a fucking disaster.
• napped. I can’t decide if the napping is just good, smart business or some very quiet cry for help. Or not so quiet. Brian told me I’ve been snoring. Damn cold.
• helped Clara Jane with her homework. Her class is having a friendship party on Tuesday, and we had to write one nice thing about her classmates. This gives me something new to neuroticize. For the boys, she mostly said that she likes playing chase with them. With the girls, she complimented clothes and hair. She also called three girls her best friend, which is going to cause a massive shit storm at some point in her life. I predict fifth grade, because that’s when the best friend loyalty shit really goes down.
• made up the word neuroticize. I love it!
• was drafted to put Clara Jane to bed, which I should be doing now.
• Provided a voice for Chloe, the bird-mangling, raw pasta-eating basset hound. She and Clara Jane conversed for about fifteen minutes.
• got in trouble for playing my music too loud and singing. I couldn’t help it! The Underground Garage played Roll Over Beethoven and Tell Him back-to-back. Granted, it’s a little embarrassing that I was lectured by my four-year-old for playing my music too loud, and for my provocative dance moves. She’s so square.

• Since I’m somewhat ill, I figure it’s time for some some dotty laziness.
• I’m not seriously sick. Just lethargic and kind of belly-achy. After I took Clara Jane to school, I came home with thoughts of being productive. I went back to bed and got up when it was time to pick her up.
• I think I could turn in right about now.
• I’ve been watching way too much TV. Someone needs to beat me for watching as much “Wife Swap” as I have of late. I’ve also seen so many commercials that piss me off. Beyond the mommy blog Motrin kerfluffle of this week. I didn’t like that one; it was condescending and misinformed. I don’t think it’s nearly as offensive as some of the other crap that’s in regular rotation, though. There’s the Glade lady who continually lies about her discount-store scented products to boost her lagging self-esteem, probably fueled in part by the husband who doesn’t seem too thrilled that she spent the day spraying air freshener and slacking instead of actually doing the housework God intended for her to do and oh my God, I really have been watching too much “Wife Swap” because I’m mentally matching them with a family who can deal with a pathological liar and an emotionally abusive husband.
• Judging from that rant, I’m wondering if I have a fever.
• Clara Jane has a field trip tomorrow. I think I’ll pass.
• Due to my illness-based bad parenting, Clara Jane learned about smoking while watching “The Simpsons” and has been running around the house singing, “I like to move it move it! I like to move it move it!” I have not moved it moved it in numerous hours. I need to move it move it to bed.

• I’ve been good at avoiding posts with dots lately, since I’m using blogging as warm-up for book-writin’. Today, my brain is stalled and so I’m resorting.
• This morning involved bad fast food coffee and a trip to that giant box store I hate. The blue one, not the red one. There were things on my list that I can’t find elsewhere (black wire coat hangers, copper-colored fusion spray paint for my new pvc-but-looks-like-the-stolen-copper downspouts). I saw lots of things I would never buy. I wish I’d written them down so I can tell you, because they were funny.
• I won a pair of tickets to see The Old Crow Medicine Show on my birthday next Wednesday. I’m excited, but a little antsy because I don’t know who to take. My friends who like them all live elsewhere. Brian’s staying home to take care of Clara Jane. Going to a concert alone on my birthday sounds so loserish that it pains me to even type it. If it was any other day, I’d have no qualms going alone. So, who wants to be my special birthday date? I won’t put out.
• I’ve got a completely ridiculous, probably unfeasible idea stuck in my head for the school’s auction. I think this idea is devouring my brain cells. It involves that guy from here who’s in that band I like. Read the rest of this entry

• For the past two weeks, I’ve only blogged before working on my novel-writing challenge. This is the one exception. It’ll be interesting to see if I’m such a creature of habit that I open my word processor program as soon as I hit the publish button. I don’t see it happening. I wrote five pages today (without blogging to warm up), so I feel fine in my plan to eat ice cream and knit once I post.
• I’m having a yard sale Friday and Saturday. I’d originally planned to have it the first weekend in October but it turns out I’m a pricing savant. Since everything’s ready, might as well get it over with. If you’re in the Prettytown area and would like to buy my crap, let me know.
• Clara Jane seems to have formed a posse at school. She and a cluster of minions took over a section of the playground and refused to respond as parents arrived to take them home. Oh, if only school was five days a week.
• The next two weekends, I’m going to declare myself German. Sunday’s Oktoberfest at my favorite restaurant on the Missouri side. The next weekend? Prettytown Oktoberfest! I’m not sure when I became such a fan of polka music and knockwurst.
• And ice cream. I’ve always been a fan of ice cream. I think some has walked into my house.

• The flu’s all but gone. All that remains is the carnage that comes from throwing up one of my anti-anxiety drugs and not taking it or my anti-depressant the next day for fear of a similar fate. Which means I’ve got a day or two of my brain not working. I’m not panicky or depressed. I just feel like my synapes aren’t communicating. Time feels weird. My fingernails feel weird because I’m hyper-aware of them. I’m watching a thing about The Monkees on Biography. Yeah. Chemically unbalanced.
• Brian’s showing signs of being hit with the flu next.
• British phrases Clara Jane has adopted: ice lolly, shopping trolley, paddling pool and, if you read yesterday you know, loo. People keep asking her if she’s going to start school soon. Yes. Oxford.
• I have a little crush on the guy in those free credit report ads. I’d never admit that under the influence of Klonopin and Prozac, which is exactly why I take them.
• I’m on a bender to finish the umpteen bazillion unfinished knitting projects littering my house. I finished a hat tonight that required crocheting. Figured I might as well do that while my brain’s not working. It helped.
• I think that’s it. I slept so hard last night I didn’t move and my neck still hurts. I’m trying to not dwell on the idea that it might be menengitis.

• Since I missed a few days and no one seems to be reading anyway, NaBloPoMo is officially over. I’m done. I quit. Phooey.
• Today’s the token chilly day in July, which is usually one of my favorite days. I’m in far too foul of a mood to enjoy it. Probably doesn’t help that I’m sitting at the wobbly table by the air conditioner at the coffeehouse, and therefore freezing my ass off. Literally. My right cheek is positioned directly over the vent and I feel nothing. Perhaps I need an Americano and some turkey veggie soup.
• By happenstance I spent most of yesterday with OtherRobin, which was most excellent. It wouldn’t have happened had I not been running around my yard in inappropriate shorts and no bra with unbrushed teeth right after rolling out of bed. When I put my dogs in the yard for their morning constitutional, I decided to view their latest masterpiece – the giant hole they dug under the fence to escape into the neighbors’ yard, where they will most certainly be killed by his pack of misfit, cross-eyed cats. What I don’t get is how stupid little Murphy is terrified of walking through a door that’s not completely open, and yet she has no qualms when it comes to cramming her lard under the three inches of available space between the fence and the hole. Anyway, I saw Robin and her kiddo walking past our house when I was going back to the house. My usual policy when I see other human beings when I’m in the yard in inappropriate shorts and no bra with unbrushed teeth is to hide behind the nearest large object. Like trees. But I forwent that rule yesterday and I’m glad I did. Clara Jane and Gryffin were so thrilled to see each other, and Robin and I wound up talking for an hour or so. They invited us to come over in the afternoon, which lead to our husbands (they’re hetero life partners, after all) joining us for pizza, beer, and some Wii-ing. And glory be, I even got Robin to join me for knit night! It was all pretty awesome. There’s been some social awkwardness over the past few months, and some much-needed shifts and changes. We’re shifting and changing and I’m feeling better about a lot of things than I have in quite awhile.
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