Oh, there’s not much of that in my life right now. I’m grabbing 20 minutes to gulp a coffee and catch my breath before I do some work stuff at a restaurant across the street, where I could be drinking coffee and writing, but that would feel weird. I’ve got to have some boundaries. And yet, two guys, obviously restaurant types from what I’ve overheard, are talking business and it’s all I can do to not rush over with my business card.

Ugh. Boundaries and balance. I need some of both right now.

After I made my last post I realized that my life is so different right now than it was when I started blogging five years ago. At first it was a project to keep me from going nuts while home with infant Clara Jane. Then it became therapy when staying home with infant Clara Jane and the hormones I was housing made me insane. Then it was all funny shit about my neighbors and friends. And then the move. A few career and kid things. The move to Prettytown. And now …?

Just like sands in an hourglass, so is the blog of my life.

I caught myself wondering what my blog should be now, when the bigger question is really, what is my life now? Which translates to, how do I process all the changes? Which, if you really wanted to get stupid and stoned about it means, who am I now?

Okay, the facts are this: mother, wife, writer.

The mother part’s harder now than I thought it would be. Shocking. It’s always harder than I thought it would be. I’m understanding the juggling act, and the guilt, of working moms, even though Clara Jane’s in school all day. Today I had to cancel helping with Girl Scout cookies because I just can’t shoe horn it into the work stuff I have to get done. And that blows.

Wife. Hi Brian. Happy 40th birthday yesterday. I’m sorry you had to go to the grocery store and buy your own cake at 10 PM.

Writer. The words. There are so many of them! I love it. I do. I’m still trying to get used to the huge part it’s finally playing in my life.

I’m getting there, and everything’s awesome. Just off-kilter, which can get to me.

Friday night I got to review Son Volt’s St. Louis show. I’ve had this song stuck in my head ever since. Odd, since I usually avoid slow stuff, but for some reason I relate. The lyrics have little to do with what I’m relating to, aside from the song title. I don’t know why. It’s just there.

Stuff like this helps, too.

And now I’m off to see a man about some bread, hoping I dont still have leaves in my hair.