Can you believe this week is the first anniversary of our move to Prettytown? Stunned, I am! Flabbergasted! All week I’ve been thinking that, on the 14th, I need to make a post listing all the things I love about living here. It’ll be a long post. I’d intended to take photos, but since that hasn’t happened yet, it probably won’t.

That said, on Sunday we had our first not-so-great experience with someone in Prettytown. Julie and I had just gotten home from our weekend in the woods and were standing in my side yard with Brian and Clara Jane, unloading my stuff and gushing about the awesomeness of the weekend. Now, we live on Main Street (and according to Rachel, we have the most Main Street-looking house on Main Street. Go figure and call me Aunt Bea.) and we see lots of dog-walkers and bike-riders. It never occurred to me that this might correlate with the large number of bars in Prettytown until this moment on Sunday when a rather grizzled older man slowly rode his bike down our sidewalk, turned our way, and screamed this:

“You goddamn motherfucking bitch! C*cksucking whore!”

His litany continued, but my head was busy exploding. We were all frozen in shock, and all I could do was give him a friendly wave and scream, “Well, hello to you, too!”

“Um, Robin,” Brian said, “I don’t think he was talking to you or Julie. I think he was talking to people who aren’t actually there.”

Great. I got a year’s respite from living in a neighborhood with stupid-ass drunks doing stupid-ass shit and it’s starting all over. The drunk biker might as well have been driving a dune buggy.

Oh, but this is Prettytown! And what should be following the drunk biker but a cop? We rushed to the front yard so we could watch the cop pull over the drunk, who promptly fell on his ass upon stopping, got up, and assumed the position at the side of the cop car before the officer was even out the door.

Obviously, our biking friend has done this before.

This town. Oh, how I love it. Only here can having obscenities hurled at you by a drunk on a bike be a fun experience.