Holy crap, I’m tire, in spite of falling asleep promptly when Brian arrived home from work. So deep my sleep, I’m told I was barely awake when Clara Jane decided to sit on my head. I vaguely recollect screaming about my hair.

Why so tired? Because last night Brian, Summer, her husband J., Brian’s hetero life partner (otherwise known as Mike), and Mike’s other hetero life partner (Chris) attended a show by the delightful Raconteurs. You kids who dig the live rock and roll and the guitars should by all means catch them if they visit your city, as they will melt your fucking face right off your skull.

I mean, shit! Check them out at Coachella a few months ago. Prepare to catch the goo that once was your face in a proper receptacle. Then multiply that shaky video by 50, and add cups of Schlafly Pale Ale magically appearing in front of you all night and damn, it makes for a good night.

Last time I saw Jack White perform at the Pageant, I was with Kristina, pregnant, overheated, nauseous, and I sort of punched/shoved a guy in his face because he was using my shoulders as a springboard. I blame my hormones, and having spent two nights standing through Miss Pussycat’s fucking opening act puppet shows. How bad was it? Well, this isn’t the puppet show my pregnant ass stood through twice. This is about 1/20th shorter than what I witnessed, and doesn’t feature a main character named Marshall Tucker, but it serves its purpose of illustrating an important fact – puppets at rock shows make me punch people.

While I didn’t particularly go ballistic over last night’s opening act – the Fiery Furnaces – at least they didn’t have puppets. Just a faux Patti Smith who got on my nerves after awhile. But there was the magically-appearing beer, so I didn’t mind that much. Summer’s husband’s yells for more of the “Fiery Infernos” and the “Blazing Furnaces” helped, too.

(After the fact, I’m liking their recorded stuff. Live, I just didn’t get it.)

Anyway, awesome show. Magically-appearing beer. Fabulous company. It wasn’t quite as thrilling as three nights of three-hour Wilco shows, but it was indeed a hell of a good time.

Clara Jane spent the evening at my friend Jill’s house. You know this kid has rarely been babysat, and this was by far the latest we’ve left her with anyone except my parents. When we came rolling into Jill’s at midnight, Clara Jane was in her jammies, clutching her stuffed frog and raccoon, out cold as she had been for several hours. She barely woke up when Brian lifted her from the couch and carried her to the truck. She slept during the few minutes it took us to drive home. And when we got inside the house and headed for bed? Well, that’s when the fiery furnace that is the anger portion of my daughter’s brain opened up and burned us like as if we were Satan’s picnic kebobs.

For the first hour we were home, this child howled for … everything. She wanted to sleep in our bed. She wanted to watch a show. She wanted a drink. But not in that cup. She wanted her stuffed frog and didn’t believe me when I tried to explain to her that she was already clutching said frog to her chest. She wanted world peace, new parents, and for the lead singer of Fiery Furnaces to quit wearing skin-tight 1980s designer jeans and plaid blouses in an ironic manner.

At this point, I’m afraid I might have told my child that she was harshing my mellow.

Today, Brian went to work after three hours of sleep. Clara Jane and I didn’t get out of our pajamas. I slept through having my head sat on and, I’m told, numerous attempts to rouse me for food.

Rocking out is hard work. Shuffling? Only slightly easier.

1. Respectable – Rolling Stones -Some Girls
2. Metal Firecracker – Lucinda Williams Car Wheels on a Gravel Road
3. You – R.E.M – Monster
4. Darlin’ One – Replacements – Don’t Tell a Soul
5. The Chair – George Strait – 50 Number Ones
6. Just Keep on Loving Me – Johnny Taylor and Carla Thomas Stax Story
7. Sailor Boy – The Chiffons Absolutely the Best!
8. Better Version of Me – Fiona Apple Extraordinary Machine
9. Is There Something I Should Know – Duran Duran Greatest
10. Ego Tripping at the Gates of Hell – Flaming Lips Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots