Friday Shuffle – The Open Up and Say What the Hell?!? Edition
Posted by RobinJun 20
I’m extraordinarily proud of my teeth. I mean, have you seen them? They’re awesome. I don’t feel like digging through Flickr to find one. I could take one with my Mac Photo Booth, but I’m eating pizza and I have a rogue chin hair. So you can dig through Flickr yourself if you require proof. Or just take my word – I have great teeth. For one thing, I have all of them, except for my wisdom teeth. Never had a cavity, never required any orthodontia. Despite my coffee consumption they remain mostly-white for a 35-year-old.My dad’s nearly 59 years old and he has similar teeth. Well, except for a large gap where he was kicked by a horse a long time ago. My mom, on the other hand, has such a mouthful of terror that she’s been begging her dentist to just pull the all and get it over with. He won’t, because he knows a gold mine when he sees one. Brian’s mouth is so squirrely that his dentist once broke his jaw. I’ve never known for sure if he broke it in order to fix something or out of sheer frustration.
Obviously, we were hoping that Clara Jane would inherit my dad and my dental genetic code. And while I can’t complain much because we have such a healthy kid, it looks like in the chopper department, she’s on her way to a life of tooth-yanking and jaw-breaking.
She had her first dental appointment today, and it wasn’t good. She has a cavity in her upper left molar.
While I was sitting there, attempting to process this news, the hygienist who discovered the foul hole started on the “When kids drink a lot of sugary drinks…”
WHOA! Back up the Coke truck, Missy. You’re talking to a borderline sugar nazi mom. She drinks water. She drinks milk. About once or twice a week, she drinks a no-nothing-added juice box. Soda? Forget it. On the rare occasions it’s been offered to her, she’s turned her nose up at it. Faux juice drinks? Never.
Sure, every now and then we take her to a parade where she gets a giant shopping bag filled with candy, and we allow her to stick her head in the bag and eat the candy as fast as she can without the use of her hands. But still.
(Okay, we don’t really do it. The majority of the candy from last month’s parade is still in the bag. She gets the occasional candy treat.)
No sugary cereals. No sugary yogurt. Dried fruit? I read the label before I buy it to make sure no one’s sneaking in extra sugar because it’s concentrated fruit for Christ’s sake!
They hygienist got the picture, and assured me that this probably isn’t something I did, that there was probably something wrong with the enamel on the tooth from the get-go. Still, I’m sure it was something I did. I mean, she threw such a fit on Wednesday because I gave her the wrong toothbrush. Perhaps she was trying to tell me something.
I’ll bet because I ate deli turkey when I was pregnant, I canceled out my good dental genes, allowing the bad genes to take over.
(I’m joking.)
Clara Jane hates loud noses and was terrified of the electric toothbrush and suction wand during her cleaning. Facing a drill? Holy shit, her head’s going to explode. And mine will, too. We’ll be going to a pediatric dentist so that she can have all sorts of lovely, innocent things associated with childhood forever linked to THE MOST TERRIFYING MOMENT OF HER YOUNG LIFE. Nevermind that it seems somewhat ridiculous to drill and fill a tooth that she’s going to lose in a few years. Can’t we just knock her out, pull it, and speed up that first visit from the tooth fairy.
Hell, why don’t we just pull them all and save any future cavities until she’s old enough to get her own insurance and deal with it on her own, when I’m she’s reached a level of emotional maturity that will allow her to cope.
Oh, and I have two tiny wee almost-cavities that required a laser to be detected, but I’ll be getting them drilled and filled. And Brian? Don’t even get me started. His 25-year-old silver fillings are disintegrating and they all need to be replaced. And periodontal disease! A broken jaw will probably be involved, too.
Maybe we should all just beg the dentist to yank them all and we’ll shuffle around like the toothless hillbillies were bound to become.
- That Old Sweet Roll (Hi-De-Ho) – Dusty Springfield – Dusty in Memphis
- Brown Eyed Handsome Man – Chuck Berry – The Definitive Collection
- The Fly – U2 – Achtung Baby
- Ethylene – John Hiatt – Walk On
- Hollywood (Africa) – Red Hot Chili Peppers – Left of the Dial: Dispatches from the ’80s Underground
- Spiders (Kidsmoke) – Wilco – A Ghost Is Born
- Everyday – Buddy Holly – 20th Century Masters: The Best Of Buddy Holly (Millennium Collection)
- Hearts on Fire – Gram Parsons – Sacred Hearts and Fallen Angels: The Gram Parsons Anthology
- Happiness is a Warm Gun – U2 – The Best Of 1990-2000 & B-Sides
- The Book and the Canal – Calexico – Feast of Wire
8 comments
Comment by Big Daddy B on June 20, 2008 at 10:04 pm
I had my ancient silver fillings changed over a couple years ago to some porcelain bru-ha-ha. Only to find out… I never had a cavity! Love the dentists. Love them. Good luck.
Comment by B on June 20, 2008 at 10:17 pm
Never went as far as to get the jaw breaking done. The orthodontia was headed in that direction, but when the time came to head for that, and it wasn’t covered by insurance, and it was my choice. Well, let’s just say I still have the under bite (and several thousand dollars.) A friend of mine had it done when she was younger, and has a numb spot on her chin. No real problem beyond that, except a tendency to drool after having a few drinks.
Comment by Kathy on June 21, 2008 at 3:16 am
“When kids drink a lot of sugary drinks…”
I don’t buy that either. I’ve always had cavities regardless of what I’m eating or drinking. As a kid, I drank mostly water, not fruit juice or fruit drinks (gag), but got my first cavity around Clara Jane’s age.
Comment by Becca Hale on June 21, 2008 at 8:23 am
Don’t know if you’ve picked a pediatric dentist for Miss Clara Jane, but I take my four girls to the most awesome peds dentist – Dr. Kevin and my SIL takes her boys to Dr. John at Associated Pediatric Dentistry. They have an office on North Belt West and another on Frank Scott Pkwy near Target. They are WONDERFUL! I hate, hate, hate to go to the dentist but if I could go to this place I would!
Comment by RKN on June 22, 2008 at 6:37 pm
One of the mums in my Mothers’ Group was devastated to learn her 4 year old son had four cavities and that he would need to go under a general anasthetic to repair them. She felt like she was being accused of child abuse! As she also has never had a cavity and feeds her kids minimal sugar she was distraught. On speaking to another dentist, it does seem like there is definitely a genetic factor. Turns out her husband has pretty ordinary teeth. The pediatric dentist did give her some good advice though such as if the kids get a lolly bag from a party you are better to give them all of the lollies on one day rather then spread them out over a week to give their teeth a rest (I struggle with that concept even though I understand as I’d rather not have a hyper kid!). He also suggested that juice or any sweetened drink works best at breakfast or dinner time so the kids are brushing their teeth pretty soon afterwards. Also drinking through a straw is better than a cup! So I think our entire Mothers’ Group learnt from it without having the horrific experience or dental bill of $4500!
Comment by Susan on June 23, 2008 at 12:40 pm
Hopefully said pediatric dentist will offer oral sedation for CJ. It should make it a lot easier on everyone’s nerves. I say should but then when my G was 2 1/2 she had to have a mini root canal on a tooth. I got suckered into the oral sedation and like a dang fool thought she’d actually swallow the stuff. Why I don’t know because she always fought us on taking medicine – liquid or chewable. Let’s just say $150 worth of medicine was spit all over me, the dentist, and the assistant. She lived through the procedure without it. Thank goodness she never needed anything major like that since that time. Now we are going through orthodontia.
Comment by Dixie on June 23, 2008 at 1:54 pm
I used to not understand my B’s aversion to the dentist until I found out that back in the bad old days of East Germany, there was no local anesthesia for dentistry. If you had a cavity, they just drilled and you felt every bit of the pain. It’s no wonder B nearly has a stroke when they’re simply trying to scrape the plaque off his teeth.
I hope it all goes very smoothly with Clara Jane’s filling.
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[...] here’s where I get all PC parent on their asses. Clara Jane has already had a cavity. O, the guilt and the shame! The anger when the dental hygenist glared at me and said, “Well, [...]