Hallelujah, it’s over and done. This Christmas season, with its myriad of ass-pains, is over. At least, the worst of it is. Brian and I have returned from my hometown. Clara Jane’s spending a few days with my parents. I’m looking forward to tomorrow night’s Bottle Rockets show and Sunday’s LiveFeed show at Cicero’s. It’s time to blow off the steam.I think our entire holiday can be summed up in this photo:
Crapping at Christmas.
Oh, there’s a story, of course.

Christmas Eve, we were opening gifts with my parents, Brian’s parents and my grandparents. Part-way through a gift, Clara Jane stopped, and ran to the bathroom to pee. Ah, being fully potty trained – that’s the best gift ever.

Well, there’s one gift that’s better. That gift is a lifetime of blackmail material against one’s child.

On Christmas day, we were repeating the gift-opening with even more relatives and some family friends when once again, nature called. Clara Jane once again jumped up and ran for the bathroom. Now, that’s a kid with some excellent potty skills, I’m thinking. Not once but twice she stops unwrapping gifts to potty.

And then my mom started laughing, because this is what she saw:
For the kid who can't take time to go potty while opening gifts.
She knew this trip to the bathroom was going to take longer. Not wanting to miss out on precious gift-unwrapping time, my ingenius, if not ill-mannered, child came up with the perfect solution: put the potty chair in the middle of the festivities for a little crap n’ unwrap!

Being able to share this stories and photos for the rest of my living days? It’s nearly vindication for that tantrum she threw at the botanical gardens the other day. Hell, it almost makes up for the 32 hours of labor.

Since I don’t have any songs about Christmas crap, I turned the iTunes Genius loose with some Bottle Rockets, in honor of their 15th anniversary.

  1. Welfare Music – Bottle Rockets
  2. Eight Piece Box – Southern Culture on the Skids
  3. I Must Be High – Wilco
  4. Give Back the Key to My Heart – Uncle Tupelo
  5. Inn Town – Whiskeytown
  6. Afterglow 61 – Son Volt
  7. Looks Like I’m Up Shit Creek – Nora O’Connor (Genius managed to find the one song in over 11,000 with a fecal reference in the title, just for today.)
  8. Greenville – Lucinda Williams
  9. Zoysia – Bottle Rockets
  10. Lookin’ Up to Heaven – Paul Westerberg
  11. Hard Way to Fall – Ryan Adams & the Cardinals
  12. Thirteen – Wilco
  13. Jet Pilot – Son Volt
  14. Love Like a Truck – Bottle Rockets
  15. Come On  – Bottle Rockets
  16. Voodoo Cadillac – Southern Culture on the Skids
  17. Dust Down a Country Road – John Hiatt
  18. Dead, Drunk and Naked- Drive-By Truckers
  19. Evening Gown – Alejandro Escovado
  20. I’ll Be Coming Around – Bottle Rockets