Five Feet & Three Inches of Bar-Brawling Terror
Posted by RobinMay 4
You knew it would happen sooner or later. Call it a mathematical inevitability. There’s got to be an equation that proves that the number of concerts I attend and my tendency to really want to pound gig clowns into the floor would eventually equal me, totally losing my shit at a show.
I swear Mr. Bouncer, I didn’t hit her. I just touched her harder than I should have.
On Saturday Brian and I headed to Champaign, Illinois, to catch The Bottle Rockets. A show that will be available on DVD in a few months, no less.
I don’t know what my deal is with Champaign, but I think I need to stay away from that town. Perhaps the U of Illionis blood that runs through the town can smell my U of Missouri rival blood and has it in for me. I didn’t even graduate, for God’s sake, so lay off of me, Champaign.
Last time I was in Champaign, I was stupidly weepy and sad at a Jeff Tweedy show. This time, well, I finally had enough. I had had enough of people being inconsiderate, rude, and unable to disconnect for thirty fucking minutes.
I was surrounded by two yuppie couples at the show. The women – who I would love to physically describe, but I won’t because that’s not fair to anyone. I’m sure there are lots of people in their forties with bleached, straightened hair who wear giant sunglasses on top of their heads and carry shiny, metal-encrusted purses the size of my luggage who aren’t jackasses. Just like I’m sure there are many sports-obsessed men with giant heads planted directly onto their shoulders, clad in Ralph Lauren button-downs and shorts to keep it casual, who aren’t jerks.
Okay, so these folks don’t look like most people at a BRox show. That’s fine. Takes all kinds. And sure, it wasn’t exactly polite when the women butted in front of me. If I wanted that sliver of space in front of me, I should have stepped into it earlier.
What got me was the talking. The constant, incessant talking. The women, inches from me, spent the first half of the show with their heads together, yapping. The men, to my side, paid attention to the show at times. Mostly, they followed the Bulls game on a cell phone/computer/teeny TV/penis-replacement-machine. Every few minutes they’d reach over my head to share the phone with the women, who would then turn to the men and discuss the game.
Similar discussion consisted regarding the women’s beverages, when they needed refills, and what shade of pink the drink should be.
Now, I’m an extremely talkative person. Some people are quiet in real life and use writing as their primary means of expression. Not me. I write because I can’t get everything out by talking without destroying my vocal cords and the minds of every single person in my life. But holy shit. I am so sick and saddened by how many people in our society can’t shut the hell up and just listen for even 15 minutes. What’s so important that it requires constant commentary? Are the Bulls going to lose if you disconnect from the game and give your attention to the human beings on stage 20 feet in front of you?
What the hell is wrong with shutting up, turning off the devices, and paying attention to what the other humans in the room are doing? It might be pretty fucking awesome.
I asked them to stop and was ignored. So I told them to cut it the fuck out, which pissed them off. Next thing I know, all four of them were in my face, screaming at me. I have no idea what they were screaming, as I tuned them out.
I probably should have verbally fought back instead of bottling it up because when the women turned around after their shriek-fest, I decided I wasn’t finished talking to them. So I tapped on of them on the back. I blame the fact that she weighed 80 pounds and I … don’t. It could be classified as a push, maybe. Not a shove. Certainly not a hit.
“She hit me! She hit me! She hit me! She hit me!”, the woman started screaming.
Sweetheart, that wasn’t a hit. If you’d like to experience a true hit, I’d be more than happy to oblige.
But I didn’t. I was once again being screamed at, particularly by one of the men who was easily a foot taller than me. “So what if we’re talking? There are no fucking rules here! We can do what we want! There are no rules!”
And then he went to the bouncer to tell on me.
Oh, the urge to say, “Well, since there aren’t any rules I’m sure you won’t mind if I beat the ever-living shit out of this gal, now, do you?”.
I’m not proud that this got physical, and I was the one who started it. I don’t like seeing adults behave in ways that would land my five-year-old kid in time out. There’s no justification for it and I fully admit that I lost control of my actions, which I shouldn’t have done.
The bouncer was such a treat. Real reasonable guy. Smart, too, explaining to me how it’s impossible for four people to talk enough to distract from a 75-decibel band. Thanks, Mr. Science!
What gives me the right to touch another person? Well, what gives them the right to bump me every 30 seconds with that giant purse? Or the right to suck all the show’s energy out of our space? Or to come to a show to do everything put actually participate in the show? Or talk incessantly? Or keep passing electronic devices over my head like I’m not even there?
He threatened to call the cops on me for battery. He told me I needed to be at least 30 feet from the assholes. Really? That’s my punishment? Let me through, then!
Seriously. I told him I’d gladly move to the other side of the venue. Instead of letting me pass, he kept me cornered against the table, surrounded by the yuppies, still threatening battery charges and informing me that he couldn’t let me out of his sight until the situation was resolved.
Dude. Then let me fucking move.
So Brian and I moved to the other side of the venue, where we had a better view of the band and were surrounded by people who were singing, dancing, screaming, jumping – engaged in the show and thrilled to be a part of it.
I’ll repeat that I am sorry I got physical. That’s never the right way to handle anything. Aside from that, I only had one misgiving about my actions. I’ve recently become friends with a sweet, sweet person who happened to be at the show. I was mortified that she might think I’m some violent bar-brawling hothead. That’s not me.
Well, that’s only been me on two occasions – Saturday night, and five years ago at a White Stripes show when some guy thought it wise to brace his hands on my shoulders and pogo. I still don’t take responsibility for shoving that guy in the face because, 1) it was self-defense, and 2) I was pregnant and the fetus made me do it.
Brian and I bailed at the end of the show. As fantastic as it was, and even though we had lots of people we would have loved to see, I was so fed up with humanity that I just wanted to go back to the hotel.
I talked to my friend on Sunday morning; she called to thank us for coming to the show. As much as I hate confronting my own mistakes and weaknesses, I thought it would be better to tell her what happened instead of pretending everything was fine or, worse, letting the gossip mill do its thing. After that, I felt fine and free to marvel in the hilarity of requiring five adults to contain me and my ferociousness.
Because you know there’s nothing scarier in a bar than a 36-year-old, 5′3″, overweight mama who’s ready to put you in time out, Motherfucker.
I will ripe you to shreds.
Just as soon as I take my tuna casserole out of the oven, fold these socks, and drop my kid off at pre-K. Wait right there. I’ll be back.
23 comments
Comment by Sally on May 4, 2009 at 11:44 am
I love you.
Comment by April on May 4, 2009 at 12:03 pm
You showed way more restraint that I would’ve, let me tell you.
I loathe people like that.
Comment by KBO on May 4, 2009 at 12:10 pm
Oh, lady. My number one pet peeve in my entire life is people who talk at concerts. If you want to watch a game and socialize, GO TO A BAR. Me (and the vast majority of those around me) are here to HEAR THE BAND. We PAID to hear the band. To chatter away incessantly is unbelievably rude to patrons and the band, is inconsiderate and makes you A GIANT DICK. Period. No offense, but bouncers should enforce that, too.
I can’t stand people with shitty concert manners. I want to punch all of them in the face, end of story.
I just don’t understand why people would pay good money (and exorbitant TM fees) to NOT watch a show. To NOT have the concert experience. Why, so you can say you went to a (Wilco, BR, etc) show? If this is the case, you are a fucking tool douchebag.
Okay, you’ve got me all worked up now.
Comment by Analogmoon on May 4, 2009 at 12:39 pm
Don’t hit me, but this new layout is hard to read.
Comment by Sarah Kate on May 4, 2009 at 12:42 pm
Honey, as a former title holder of the “instigator of the year: countless shoving rounds at punk shows in the bi-state area ‘93-’97″ I would like to say that tapping someone, even pushing someone, is HARDLY resorting to violence. I’m impressed that you didn’t deck the bitch. (Fifteen years ago, I would have. Then I would have beaten her to a bloody pulp with her stupid purse. And I would have gotten arrested. Isn’t maturity great?) Unfortunately, bouncers are hired for the circumference of their necks, not the size of their brains. You are a smart, level headed woman. The dumbasses you were surrounded by were not. Please do not let them trouble your mind anymore. I’m so sorry you didn’t get to enjoy your concert as much as you should have.
Comment by Robin on May 4, 2009 at 12:44 pm
Sal, I love you, too.
April and KBO, I’m not allowed to go to shows with either one of you. We’d kill people. KBO, you nailed it. Granted, tickets for this show were only $10 with no service charges. Still. Brian and I speculated that maybe they were at the bar to watch the Bulls game, which was playing in another room. Figured they’d spend the $10 cover charge, catch some music, and be assholes about it.
A-man, I’m gonna touch you so hard if you complain one more time. (I’m still working out the layout bugs. This one is definitely temporary, as I hate it. It’s more functional from the technical standpoint than the last one.)
Comment by Amy in StL on May 4, 2009 at 1:15 pm
Hee hee, I love this story. I’m so passive agressive that when people butt in front of me, and proceed to bump me with their purses, I pretend to trip and fall into them repeatedly until they move. I hate the type of folks you described. Srsly.
Comment by Dixie on May 4, 2009 at 1:19 pm
You know if you go on and on with telling these fuckwits to shut up you waste 20 minutes in a screaming match. You give a hussy a bit of a push and you get what you got. Either way, you’re screwed – missing the show and elevating your blood pressure. I don’t reckon there’s a best way to fix it except to pray that it doesn’t happen too often. I’m glad you at least got to move away from them and could watch the show with the cool folks.
I can’t even fathom going to a concert and yapping through it, never mind pay attention to a fucking basketball game during it.
Comment by Beth on May 4, 2009 at 2:03 pm
You make me giggle!!
Comment by Debbie on May 4, 2009 at 2:16 pm
Ugh, sounds like somebody who didn’t give a damn about the band and only wanted to “be seen” themselves — and then couldn’t handle the attention they were begging for.
Some people just need a hearty shove sometimes.
Comment by Analogmoon on May 4, 2009 at 2:33 pm
A-man, I’m gonna touch you so hard if you complain one more time.
That sounds like the title of a Morrissey song.
The layout before this one was too small. It’s just the background – it’s hard to read the text because of the white background.
Comment by ally scott on May 4, 2009 at 2:36 pm
I feel ya sister! Why dont those people save themselves the money and sit at home with the cd and talk all they want!
Comment by Lori on May 4, 2009 at 4:17 pm
That is a hilarious freakin’ story. And I love that it happened in Champaign. Your IL stories are always the best!
Comment by Maggie on May 4, 2009 at 6:17 pm
Next time, aim for subtlety (and unfortunately there will be a next time, because some people think the entire universe revolves around them and they never have to show the slightest bit of consideration): “Oh, I’m so sorry I spilled my entire beer on your personal distraction device. I get so clumsy when I drink!”
Comment by Jenny on May 4, 2009 at 6:44 pm
Those types of people make me itch. Seriously.
Comment by Annie on May 4, 2009 at 7:37 pm
Dude…if Henneman was still drinking…I totally would have told him and he would have smacked those bizatches in thier bony little faces…then poured beer on thier bleached hair. Since times have changed…I doubt that would happen now. Which really sucks by the way. I would have just called her a f*cking c*nt and bitch slapped her.
Or I would’ve just had Horton do it.
Comment by shuga on May 4, 2009 at 8:21 pm
Girl,
Shit Happens.
We are just so sorry that shit happened to you!!
It’s just not right.
Sarah Kate’s post took the words right outta my mouth!
Let it go Babe!
See ya at the next Brox Show!
Comment by allison on May 5, 2009 at 4:20 am
I punched a guy in the face once. He was crowd-surfing during the Babes In Toyland set at Lollapalooza 3 (or 2? Maybe 1) and kept kicking 5′2″ me and my equally short friend in our necks. She dragged him down and I decked his ass.
….That really dates me, doesn’t it? *sigh*
Comment by Exena on May 5, 2009 at 6:52 am
Is it sad that I am fuming by just reading this? I hate that this sort of thing happens at every other show I go to. Concerts are such a release for me, and yet, my experience is usually fucked over by idiots. My worst experience has to have been the last U2 concert I saw in Cleveland. Two drunk LOUD bitches came and stood in front us near the middle of the show. Thank God it was after Gloria (that show was the first time I’d ever heard it fully live and I was so stoked), because I would have killed her. Shane had to get in between us, because I was ready to knock her out. Thankfully we got her removed by a bouncer, before I could do it. She of course made an incredible scene and the rest of the show was pretty much ruined by how furious I was.
Comment by Courtney on May 5, 2009 at 7:00 am
I CANNOT STAND people gabbing at shows. In-between sets? Sure. No problem. But why go if you aren’t listening. Jeebus, I am starting to hate bouncers after the last few weeks. Remember that horrid bachelorette nightmare I told you about? Totally different situation, but still!
Comment by Lisse on May 5, 2009 at 2:24 pm
There was a point at which I realized I am too old and cranky to go to concerts. In one club, I had my foot stomped on by a stilletto and had beer spilled on me shortly after that, but the real end was at a Depeche Mode concert when these two goth girls with “faithful” and “devoted” painted on their chests in black lipstick sat next to me and let out these ear piercing screams every five minutes for no reason at all. I was angry because they were ruining the show and upset because I realized that would be my last concert, I just couldn’t take it anymore.
“the fetus made me do it…” Bwahahaha!
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