1. The crying. Oh lord, the constant, inconsolable crying. And Clara "Calamity" Jane's been fussy, too.
2. There's a large, stinky Basset hound sleeping on the baby sling that I left on the floor. Don't worry - I took the baby out first.
3. My child's poop is blue. Babies aren't supposed to poop blue, right? My big concern is that it's ruining my strong, deep affection for blue cheese with every diaper I change.
4. There isn't a clean bottle in my house. None. Zilch. Every single one of them is dirty. If Calamity gets hungry, she's just going to have to learn to breastfeed once and for all, instead of exercising the luxury of having fresh-squeezed breastmilk in a clean bottle.
5. Calamity is more interested in watching TV than in playing with me. I figured I'd get at least 6 months with her before the media got its stranglehold.
6. While watching Food TV, she coos and gurgles at Rachel Ray of "30-Minute Meals". I think she realizes that Rachel is a far perkier chef than me, who probably doesn't have a rival chef, and therefore she wishes to be Rachel's child.
7. Calamity has screamed and cried all day. Until she finally made me break down and cry. Then she laughed. I didn't think she'd start doing that until at least puberty.
8. There's more breastmilk clinging to the top of my pajamas (which I'm still wearing, of course) than there is in any of the empty, dirty bottles. Maybe I can just ring my shirt into her hungry little bird-mouth at her next meal.
We have a pediatrician appointment on Friday. Obviously, I've got some major issues to discuss with that woman.
Posted by Robin at June 21, 2004 02:44 PM | TrackBackHow odd. Narnia coos and giggles to Rachel Ray, too. But not to 30 minute meals. She prefers 40 dollars a day. I want to be Rachel Ray. She can cook, she gets to travel, she's good looking, and she's thin. How does she do that? How can she be a chef and eat all that food and still be thin? This bugs me.
Posted by: Mae Midwest at June 21, 2004 05:04 PM