This has been my day:
6 AM - Alarm goes off. Cat plants herself on top of my head. Obviously, I can't get up. I have a cat on my head.
6:35 - Husband removes cat from my head, so I'm up.
6:36-7:00 - Shower, gulp an oversized latte mug of coffee. Strong coffee. Black. No sugar. Swallow raspberry yogurt directly from container.
7:00-8:30 - Act as entertainment center for Clara "I'm Bored" Jane.
8:31 - 8:31:16 - Throw on clothes. Realize jeans are ones worn yesterday. Too late to remedy situation.
8:31:17 - 9:00 - Gather child, child's acoutrements, and self for running errands.
9:01 - 9:02 - Perform contortion act that's now required for getting into my truck, since the driver's side door doesn't open and the center-seat console doesn't flip up.
9:03-noon - Run errands. Save $10 with coupons. Elated at my coupon uber-coolness.
11:05 - Wonder why in the hell Morrissey's new video is being shown on all the TVs in Wal-Mart's electronics department.
11:06 Wonder why in the hell Air Supply is being played on the p.a. system.
11:07 - Realize that this musical bastardization must mean that Kristina has somehow managed a hostile take-over of the company. Suddenly, I don't feel so guilty about shopping at Wal-Mart if Kristina's in charge.
12:01 - Realize there is no such thing as coupon uber-coolness, just tightwad dorkiness.
12:10 - Perform strategic vehicle exit plan at crowded gas station.
12:11 - Ask the guy in the Beemer at the next pump what his problem is, hasn't he ever seen a fat girl squeeze out of the opposite door of a mashed-up truck.
1:00 - Arrive back home. Attacked by wild dingos who are dying to go outside.
1:03 - Diet Coke #1
1:00 - 2:00 - Clara Jane Scream Time!
1:10 - Diet Coke #2
2:00 - 2:30 - Carefully-worded phone call with mom.
2:30 - 2:33 - Slam side of head into hard-wood floor. Repeatedly.
2:34 - Diet Coke #3.
2:35 - Realize haven't consumed anything but four caffeinated beverages and a tiny thing of yogurt since waking over 8 hour ago. Eat a handful of reduced-fat Triscuits with hand that's not covered with spit-up.
2:36 - 3:00 - Try to convince Clara "Naps are for Babies" Jane that dingos only eat babies who refuse to take naps.
3:00 - She sleeps!
3:00 - 3:20 - Sit on the floor in the corner of the bathroom, involuntarily shaking from caffeine poisoning and dangerously low blood sugar while singing All Out of Love over and over and over.
Posted by Robin at July 12, 2004 03:26 PM | TrackBackGlad to see that my scheme to take over the world is slowly working, if only through the means of Morrissey and Air Supply :) Git yourself something decent to eat, will ya?? :)
Posted by: Mrs. Ed O'brien at July 12, 2004 05:32 PMUm dear you need to eat like more than yogurt okay? I was at one time considering hiring you as my caterer one day but I am concerned about our menu.
Posted by: Ms. Grits at July 12, 2004 09:55 PMI'm good at feeding others, but sometimes suck at feeding myself. I wasn't like this until I had a kid, really!
If it makes you feel any better, for dinner I made these perfectly buttery ribeye steaks with a sauce of white wine, mushrooms and gorgonzola dulce. On the side, sauted home-grown green beans with carmalized Vidalia onions.
And now I'm eating potato chips.
Posted by: Robin at July 12, 2004 10:06 PMshe is really good at cooking for others! she makes a really yummy everything. :)
like that dinner she just mentioned. i'm sure it was divine.
i'm all out of love....
That's true about the dingos. I have a pack coming over to devour my son this afternoon....I've given him a week to change his mind.
Also, this smells a lot like advice but I have finally started losing weight (after running for 10 weeks and not losing a pound) when I started eating more throughout the day and I've started losing again. Not fast but still. (I eat a lot of luna bars because I don't have time for sandwiches....that's my new slogan)
Posted by: Melissa at July 13, 2004 08:04 AMStumbled across your blog, and this entry cracked me up. Teehee.
Posted by: cassanndra at July 15, 2004 10:53 AM