I haven't blogged much about my critters. I will, someday, because they're certainly blog-worthy and full of entertainment potential, aside from the panic attacks induced by my elderly, balding old lady cat.
Today, I just thought I'd share a bit about my 6-year-old cat, Romi. My husband's cat, actually. Romi isn't crazy about me, but since Clara "Queen of the Jungle" Jane's birth, Romi hasn't gotten nearly as much attention from B. as she used to get, so she's decided that I'm A-OK.
This is the cat who was responsible for Thanksgiving RabiesWatch 1999 - Cat Bite Fever. Not to be confused with Thanksgiving RabiesWatch 2000 - Bassets Gone Wild! I am no longer allowed to haul strays into the house during the Thanksgiving season.
Anyway, Romi. Romi has a weight problem. Her problem is, she is full of lard. She's a fur casing, stuffed to near-bursting with pounds and pounds of lard.
She's fat. Obese. Rotund. Reubenesque (a condition caused by eating Reubens instead of Cat Chow).
Now, being fat, obese, rotund, and Reubenesque myself, I do feel a great deal of guilt over the behavior I'm about to describe. I've also had just enough Women Studies classes to worry about the impact my behavior will have on my daughter's body image in years to come. But I just can't help myself.
I have recently started singing a song that I composed just for Romi. Well, I composed the lyrics. Musical inspiration was lifted from "All You Need is Love" by the Beatles. Now, sing with me:
"Lard lard lard
Lard lard lard
Lard lard lard.
All you need is lard!
Butt-da-da-da-da.
All you need is lard!
Butt-da-da-da-da.
All you need is lard
Lard.
Lard is all you need.
Lard is all you need.
Lard is all you need."
I really should find a creative outlet for myself. I mean, a creative outlet other than composing haiku and song parodies about my cat's fat ass.
Posted by Robin at August 20, 2004 09:05 AM | TrackBackI also have a fat... I mean, Reubenesque cat. Her name is Ariel, and she is an eight-year-old Siamese that weighs about 18 pounds. She is my best buddy (or as I refer to her, my tubby life partner) and I should blog more about her. She is like the feline version of me -- fat, moody and lazy -- so we are a perfect match. Anyway, last night I was petting her and rubbing her belly and telling her in that sickeningly cute voice used when talking to babies and pets, "Whooooo's my fat little girl? Whooooo's got a big fat butt? You! That's right!" It was precious.
i can't believe you wrote a song like that about Freakshow. :) heh.
Posted by: Kara at August 20, 2004 06:00 PM