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May 12, 2005

Jarts™

Editor's Note: This post mentions Jarts™ because I happened to see some in an antiques store. If I had wanted Jarts™, I would have purchased those Jarts™. So, if you're selling Jarst™, don't try to sell them to me. Also, this isn't ebay. If you want to sell your shit, post about it on ebay, not on my blog.

Last Sunday, while exploring downtown Belleville and plotting which house we're going to invade and take over, we wandered into an antiques store and found a set of lawn darts, still in their original package for $50. Even better, we also found a set of Jarts™, never used (I checked the tips for blood stains and gray matter) for $75.

Today B.'s department had their annual picnic, or as I like to call it, "You'll Have Fun and Team-Build or We'll Fire Your Fucking Ass Day". They played softball. Personally, I think it's cruel to make a bunch of computer geeks who rarely allow sunlight to cast upon their skin to play softball. But I also think it would be really funny to watch, which is precisely why I'm never invited to attend these picnics.

Anyway, at dinner tonight - which wasn't interrupted by any recounts of the latest episode of "Cops" - B. said this to me:

"I was thinking during the picnic that it's too bad I didn't buy those Jarts™. That could have been a lot of fun."

"Until someone put an eye out," I said, filling my mouth with a huge bite of Cobb salad. If there is anything better in this world than bacon and blue cheese in the same dish, I haven't found it yet.

"Well, if you've got a Jart™ in your eye, you shouldn't worry about the eye. You should be much more concerned about keeping the back of your head attached to the skull!"

Or laughing so hard that you choke on a big mouthful of bacon and blue cheese.

Tomorrow's goal: a dinner in which no one gets shot at, gets a Jart™ tunnel through the skull, or chokes to death on bacon and blue cheese. Wish us luck.

Posted by Robin at May 12, 2005 07:39 PM

Comments

Hey, isn't jart the name for a juicy fart?

Posted by: Monica at May 13, 2005 11:49 PM

No, Monica. Jarts are super-sharp toys. What you're thinking of is a shart.

Posted by: Poppy at May 14, 2005 10:29 AM

Are you interested in buying some jarts? I have a set of the Regent brand that I believe are brand new.

Posted by: Rick at July 8, 2005 07:48 PM