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June 29, 2005
Looking towards the future
Now that I'm officially free of one of my jobs, and my child is off visiting her grandparents for a few days, I'm able to look ahead at the next few days of my life, the first days in four years that my official title is once again Unemployed Writer.
I had planned to spend Thursday and Friday writing the article that was due on Friday. Oh, did I not mention that I up and quit two days before deadline? Well, I did. And do you think I passed along the stuff I'd researched for the piece, so another writer could finish it? Why no, I did not.
"Do you realize that you have absolutely nothing to do tomorrow?" B. said before he walked out the door to fetch some Taco Bell therapy. Because when one quits ones job as a food writer, one must celebrate by eating the worst food possible. "You will tell me what it's like, this day with no responsibilities, yes?"
To which I replied, "Shut the hell up and go get me one of those new foldy-uppy things they keep advertising. And two MexiMelts. Bitch." Not because I'm angry with him. I'm not. I just have lots of extra testosterone coursing through my body, what with today's Massive Testicular Workout.
So while he was out getting me the requested suet and chemicals, I put some thought into what I'm going to do over the next few days. I've got plans, People. I've got big, big plans.
Thursday:
Sleep until dogs decide that I must be dead and begin to nibble on my toes for fear that they will never get fed again.
Dig through dirty clothes and find oldest, smelliest pajamas. Wear pajamas to get used to the feel of unwashed desperation that comes with being an Unemployed Writer.
Eat box of granola bars and nothing else, for I am Unemployed Food Writer! The search for obscure gourmet goodies has officially ended! Bring on the Ding-Dongs and Moonpies! And maybe a one-gallon can of Costco nacho cheese!
Friday
Go to mall. Spend equivilent of last paycheck on body gems and Star Jones-brand shoes.
Go to drive-in. Make B. ride in the bed of the truck, under a tarp, because we can't be spending superflous money anymore.
Saturday
Do extensive research to decifer what combination of Thai food and martinis makes for the most colorful vomit.
Don't ever say that I don't plan for the future.
Posted by Robin at June 29, 2005 08:50 PM
Comments
i'm glad you've got it all planned out. :)
Posted by: kara at June 30, 2005 07:44 AM
Sounds like you're going to be busy!!
Posted by: carrster at June 30, 2005 08:33 AM
I was clueless to the drive in existance... another thing to add to my list of todos...
I bet you plan to see anorexic lindsey in Herbie right?
Testicular...the best word.. especially if you use it in other words such as ..fantesticular...for great things.
I bought myself a paid of 3 inch balls yesterday....but they were candles....probably won't help much in life.
Oh and at 26 I still shop at Claire's but will run out like a bat of hell if someone is getting their ears pierced.
Posted by: mindy at June 30, 2005 09:08 AM
That sounds better than sitting in the heat that is my house right now and waiting for the a/c man who may not show and listening to the whines of "I'm hot; get out of my way in front of the fan!". bah. Thankfully, my dh (I can't believe I'm going to write this) stops at the bar every night. He told his woes and one of the guys had a window a/c just sitting around AND it just so happened that he needed a ride home, so they traded. So, at least ONE room is cool.
Posted by: Jane at June 30, 2005 10:37 AM
Condolences on the quitting thing. And good for you on spiting them! (I love that spite and spit are so very very close.)
I can send you a really good easy version of pad thai if you decide that martinis at home are cheaper.
And I highly recommend the Ranchero chicken soft taco, although it's a bit too close to real food have that soul-satisfying nastiness about it.
Posted by: Liz at June 30, 2005 01:45 PM
Foldy-uppy thing, My Review:
My colon is NOT at all happy.
The end.
Posted by: m at July 2, 2005 06:00 PM
