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October 18, 2005

Diseased

If you read about the traveling vomitorium, you might have wondered what, exactly, caused Clara "Urp!" Jane to puke her way across five central Illinois counties. That's because I didn't know. I thought that maybe, since she'd coughed a bit, that she gagged on a bit of snot. That would be my fault. My gag reflex is non-existant. It's not unusual for me to throw up a little if I get too enthusiastic about brushing my tongue. So, maybe the kid has inherited this delightful quirk from me.

There was a horrifying moment during the drive - actually, the whole drive was horrifying, but this part was extra-horrifying - when I was on the phone with my mom and she declared that it sounded like carsickness. I get carsick. Kara gets carsick. If Clara Jane gets carsick, too? That means we're trapped in a vehicle with three people who blow chunks just by merit of being in a vehicle!!!. Suddenly, abandoning the truck on the side of the road and walking the 100 miles from Springfield, Illinois to St. Louis, just because there would be no vomit seems like a fine idea. Road kill, yes, but no vomit.

Now I know it wasn't carsickness or stray phlegm that caused Sunday's Festivale de Regurge'. I knew at precisely 5:27 p.m. last night. I had been tired and cranky, so I banished Clara Jane and B. from the house. I braised myself in an exceptionally long, hot shower then retired to the couch. I had just finished a bowl of Cheerios when it hit me. Hit me hard, straight in the gut, like a 100 megaton whole-grain bomb.

Ladies and gentlemen, we have the flu.

I spent the night in fevered sleep, awaking only so my body could expell every single item that has entered it in the past three days. The worst seems to have passed. Now, I'm just hungry, tired and dehydrated. My hands have turned into camel humps, storing every bit of moisture in my body. And boy, if the colors aren't lovely. That whole lack of sleep, lack of food, lack of liquid, fevered delirium? It's better than drugs, my friends. Better than drugs.

Let's hope this is the bad birthday mojo for this year, and that it'll pass quickly.

Posted by Robin at October 18, 2005 10:13 AM

Comments

Oh, Robin, I am so sorry that you're sick! That's horrid!

Posted by: Julie J at October 18, 2005 11:37 AM

Ew. I hate the flu. I'd rather have the cold from hell than the flu.

I'm also glad Linnea already has her flu shot. It doesn't protect me at all, but maybe she'll escape it!

Hope y'all are feeling better soon.

Posted by: beege at October 18, 2005 01:02 PM

Yuck! Hope you feel better soon. I seem to have escaped...so far.

Posted by: jess at October 18, 2005 02:55 PM

I hope you get to feeling better soon!

Posted by: Marybeth at October 18, 2005 02:57 PM

yeah, so i've already said that i hope you feel better soon, but i'm saying it again! :)

and i so hope i escape the flu. i haven't had the flu since, um, 1997. week before finals. spring semester. missed the last 3 days of my classes. sucked.

feel better. :)

Posted by: kara at October 18, 2005 04:07 PM

At least you know she doesn't suffer from car sickness! Cold comfort, I'm sure, while you're recovering from the throes of the dread flu bug.

Posted by: Nancy at October 19, 2005 08:53 AM