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October 30, 2005
The pity party continues
Ugh.
I fucking hate feeling like this.
I feel like I give a lot to others. And I'd like to think I don't expect anything in return.
But really, I do. And that makes me feel sick.
I'm just so tired of feeling like I'm constantly putting myself out there, constantly denying myself because other people need me, only to feel unappreciated and like shit if I even slightly screw up, say the wrong thing, or God forbid, demand something for myself.
I'm sick to death of trying to express my love to people who are incapable of doing the same. Because it's hard. It might make them feel vulnerable.
Damn right it's hard. If it wasn't I wouldn't feel this way. And hell yes it makes one feel vulnerable. If it didn't, I wouldn't feel this way.
For Halloween this year? I'm going as a martyr. Seems to suit the mood.
Posted by Robin at October 30, 2005 11:06 AM
Comments
My daughter told me I was going as a witch. Fortunately, she's too young for it to be a comment on my general state of being!
Hope the week gets better for you.
Posted by: Liz at October 30, 2005 11:36 AM
Do martyrs carry daggers or swords?
I empathize, PM. I really, really do.
Posted by: Summer at October 30, 2005 12:20 PM
Well, this year I'm going as a dry martini. At least then, if the party's boring, I'll have something to drink.
You remember the motto "Fuck 'em"? Well, time to put that in place for a while. There's only so much a person can do.
Posted by: Big Daddy B at October 30, 2005 02:48 PM
oh boy. sounds like a storm front.
i'm right here, sis.
Posted by: PKB at October 30, 2005 09:21 PM
A good word:
I really enjoyed your 1st column in Arch City Chronicals. I hoope you feel better soon
Posted by: joie at October 31, 2005 12:28 PM
