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You should cannibalize the nasty mommies, not the kids.

(Notice I said cannibalize, not eat. Eat sounded a bit raunchy.)

Please, rethink the thought. Tower Grove Heights is a GREAT neighborhood! The overwhelming majority of people here are welcoming and wonderful. The reloads you met (c'mon, a fedora? at the Hartford?) are outliers.

I often find myself in the same situation. I don't seem to really 'fit'. My oldest son is 9 and when he was started school, I thought, I would really try to fit in and hang with all the mom's who hair was always done and carried a purse that didn't sport political pins, like mine. I joined the PTA and meet the other moms and became on of the women who stood with all the other mom's at school functions instead of sitting quietly on the sidelines, with a book, looking up only for her kids part.

A couple months in, I woke up. I realized that I HATED these women. They were always bitching and complaining. One women was upset because she overheard one little boy (7yrs) say 'fuck' in conversation with his friends...you should have seen the horror in these women's faces. I realized right then, I am just not one of these women, I say fuck all the time, they don't even fuck their husbands. I could care less if my kid says fuck to his friends, they all do it, I did it. Its normal. I would worry if he said it to a teacher or an adult, but he wouldn't.... because I've told him not to, and acknowledged that the word exists, and its no big deal and don't say it to adults, yada yada. These women honestly believed that they could shelter their kids from all things unwholesome....and that their kids would never catch on...unless one of the kids from the 'sideline' moms exposed them to it!

Now, I am much happier. I don't try anymore. Christ, I write erotica for a living, so chances our, the relationships weren't going to work out anyway! I sit on the side, with my messy hair and paint on my jeans. And, I have met some of the greatest moms, on the sidelines. One mom, in particular, is a wine distributor.....This career clearly keeps her from hanging too closely with the PTA apple juice drinking moms...but, she and I hang on the regular now, drinking all of her samples.

Upon reviewing my post...yeah, I see the grammar errors. I haven't had coffee yet...what of it?

LOL

"Maybe you should reconsider whether climbing the high chair is a good idea. Will you please come down? Please? Do you want to come down?"

HaHaHa. I'm sure that's gotta work for some kids. Maybe. I guess. Not *mine* to be sure, but maybe somebody's.

And LOL about her caging *you* in. WTF was THAT all about?!

Hoosier is a brand of racing tires...maybe she doesn't want her to become a tire.

I would've taken that dang high chair and shoved it up her a$$...and then ate her child.

I'm wondering if the area you live in is like the Republibubble in which I'm encased. I live here for the ocean, the climate, etc, and I call it home.

The major negative, however, is the lingering feeling that well into my fourth decade I am somehow still enrolled in high school. All the kid-friendly locations here are teeming with... well, remember the rich kids that terrorized Molly Ringwald? Imagine them post-facelift and lipo, with an enhanced self-satisfaction by a factor of twelve.

And Mini-Me accessories that surround my cool little boy Village of the Damned-like, as though at the age of five they can already tell that his daddy drives a ten-year-old Nissan pick-up.

I catch many a worried glance when I say things to Harrison like "In all probability, there will be no ice cream" or "Well, son, that's life-some people are just stinky." They eye my dog-earred copy of Virgin Suicides and discreetly veer their little Madison (they're all named Madison. How much was Splash's domestic gross, anyway?!) away from our table and back toward the other hitleryouth.

I actually, very recently, had to respond to a dad in a Razorbacks sweatshirt who opined "Little House...Michael Landon! Now there was a great guy. Anybody doesn't like him's gotta answer to me!"

And all I could think of was Bill Murray in "What About Bob?"--"There are two kinds of people in this world; those who like Neil Diamond, and those who don't."

You know what the problem is, don't you? It's not that you want to JOIN the little coffee klatch. It's that you want to BE IN CHARGE of the little coffee klatch. ;)

Screw 'em. You're too cool for them anyway.

I'm laying odds the anal hipster mommy has a W/04 bumper sticker.

Sure you don't want to move to Europe? I swear, you can pick up the languages almost effortlessly!

Surprisingly enough, the area I was in isn't conservative. In fact, it's one of the most liberal parts of St. Louis, which is one of the reasons why it takes me aback a bit that I don't fit in. These are supposed to be my people, right?

Last year I was the local coordinator for the Mothers Opposing Bush organization. We had our rallies and meetings at this exact coffeehouse.

The parents in question yesterday didn't fit the suburban Republican soccer mom stereotype. They were the more in line with the liberal urban hipster stereotype.

Just goes to show that stereotypes are ineffective, because assholes know no social boundaries.

Dix, I've had around four years of German. I'm sure I'd adjust nicely. However, my brother-in-law will soon be moving from Portugal to Austria. Germany's just a little too close to him for my taste.

Robert, the "What About Bob" reference cracked me up because 1) I referenced that movie in something I wrote earlier today, and 2) that's so, so true.

the joy in life is that the ones who like neil diamond can be friends with the ones who don't (and vice versa). :)

it's been too long since i've seen "what about bob?" i should watch it again.

The other great WAB line, or at least Bill's delivery of it, is "I want, I want, I need, I need!!"

Yeah, upon re-reading your entry, the giving-Madison-the-option-of-getting-down-from-the-potential-neckbreaking-perch smacks of liberalism in its worst and most irritating form ("Let's close our eyes and levitate the Pentagon, y'all!") rather than Repugnuts.

How 'bout that Mike Landon, though, huh?

I was going to ask why Indiana, has red-neck reputation. You can understand my concern, since I am, myself, a Hoosier.
Then I remembered that we were once considered the K.K.K capital.
And we are now, after all these years, FINALLY going along with daylight savings time. . .
Then a vision of my Nascar lovin', Uncle-Bob, and his front yard littered with old car parts, and broken appliances.
Damn. . .I guess I can see it now.
I sware we aren't all like that, though!
;p