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January 22, 2006
A Meatloaf Shaped Like a House
A few days ago someone came to my blog by searching MSN for "meatloaf shaped like a house". I'd never heard of such a thing, but it doesn't surprise me that MSN thinks I have information about meatloaves shaped like houses. If blogging has taught me one thing, it's that MSN's search engine is terrible, evidenced by the many people who arrive here by searching for porn on MSN. I think we can all agree that my blog might possibly be one of the most unerotic web sites ever.
While there may not be any hot mom action here, I've taken a bit of pity on the person who was searching for house-shaped meatloaf. Also, I've been a bit bored of late. I mean, the parenting, book-writing, housekeeping, wifely duties, shopping, housekeeping, knitting, parent-herding, Idiot Dog management, blogging, codependency and occasional napping just don't completely fill my days. Which is why I decided that today, I would construct a meatloaf shaped like a house in hopes that the poor person using the shitty search engine might come back and have her hunger satiated.
Vegetarians, be warned. Meat-related carnage follows.
The meatloaf, in its pre-loafed state.
I'm not a fan of touching raw meat if I can avoid it, so all meatloaves, whether house-shaped or traditional loaf-shaped, get mixed in my stand mixer. Which might present a problem...
This is what my meatloaves normally look like. Because of that whole not-touching-meat-if-I-can-help-it thing, I usually just dump it onto the baking sheet. Maybe I should opt for a meatloaf shaped like a geodesic dome house.
I quickly got over myself and got to shaping. It was easy, really. I mean, it's not vertical. I wasn't aiming to create a gingermeat house, much to B.'s disappointment. It's meatloaf, and it's shaped like a house. What more do you want?
Some bacony eaves, perhaps?
Would some pork product doors and windows make up for my lack of vertical reach?
You know, if I went with the vertical gingermeat house design, there's no way my ketchup trim would stay in place, what with gravity and all.
It's a housewarming! Get it ... it's a meatloaf shaped like a house, and it's warming in the ... oh, forget it.
Vegetarians, you can unavert your eyes for a minute.
Of course I made pototoes and green beans.
And once the meatloaf shaped like a house came out of the oven, I used the potatoes to do a little landscaping in the form of fluffy snow. I thought about crafting an evergreen tree out of the green beans, but that seemed a little silly.
Mmmmmm ... real estate... *drool*
When I first started culinary school it was with the intention of becoming a pastry chef. I dreamt of crafting incredible cake creations. That lasted all of a semester, then I discovered that I'm inherantly incapable of frosting a simple layer cake without leaving it covered in fingerprints and long strands of my hair. But now I'm wondering ... maybe I should combine my skills as a cook with the creativity of a cake artist . I could be a ... a ... a meat sculptor!
I'm sure the culinary world is still reeling and mourning that I'm no longer a catering professional.
Posted by Robin at January 22, 2006 06:29 PM
Comments
You realize that you are too awesome for words, don't you?
Posted by: Meghan at January 22, 2006 07:37 PM
It is adorable and NOT what I had been picturing when you spoke of meatloaf shaped like a house. I was picturing it done in a loaf pan with a roof shaped top. Hmmm maybe I should get over my aversion to meatloaf making (vegetarian that I am) and we can have battle of the house meatloaf blogs?
Posted by: TW at January 22, 2006 07:52 PM
That’s a rockin’ House O’ Meat if I’ve ever seen one. (Which, um, I haven’t) And my goodness you're accommodating! Think of all the fortunate googlers who can now have their meatloaf house dreams fulfilled, thanks to you. (You know, I get people at my site searching for world’s hairiest vagina. I really should find a way to help them out.)
Posted by: Penny Pressed at January 22, 2006 08:30 PM
TW, I'd love to see a tofu-seitenloaf shaped like a house. Consider yourself challenged.
Posted by: Poppy at January 22, 2006 08:34 PM
Would you kill me if I compared your meat house to a MEATLOAFAPALOOZA?
It is uber-fantastic. Loaftastic! Housetastic! Tastetastic!
(I'm out of real words today.)
Posted by: Summer at January 22, 2006 08:38 PM
Little Meatloaf Houses For You And Me!
ROFL ROFL ROFL
That is hysterical!
Love your blog hon!
Hugs,Laura
Posted by: Laura at January 22, 2006 08:45 PM
there are no words to express the fabulousness of the meatloaf house.
and bacony windows, door, and eaves? well, that's just fan-freakin'-tastic.
:)
Posted by: kara at January 22, 2006 09:18 PM
I'd never heard of putting bacon on meatloaf. That rocks!
Posted by: Jack's Raging Mommy at January 22, 2006 09:57 PM
Never heard of putting bacon on meatloaf?!
I think I need to take a minute. . .
Posted by: Meghan at January 23, 2006 12:40 AM
How is it possible to make meatloaf without the single best meat in the world? It's not. It's just not. The bacon is the best part!
The only thing that wasn't great about the meatloaf shaped like a house was the fact that it didn't have enough bacon. Next time, the meatloaf shaped like a house will be wrapped in a Tyvek-like layer of bacon insulation.
Posted by: Poppy at January 23, 2006 08:27 AM
In the words of Randy (Ralphie's little brother in "A Christmas Story"...):
Meat loaf, meat loaf
Double beet loaf
I HATE MEAT LOAF
Except when it is shaped like a house, has bacon windows, and is surrounded by a field of mashed-potato snow.
GOOD WORK POPPYMOM! :D
Posted by: Julie at January 23, 2006 10:40 AM
Funny you should say that. Clara has a stuffy nose and didn't want to eat last night, so was stirring her dinner around, and washing her hands in mashed potatoes, and my comment was "How does the little piggy eat?"
Posted by: B at January 23, 2006 11:47 AM
Geeze, Louise....you crack me UP!! Originally, I was reading KC's blob about brokeback mountain when I saw mention of a meatloaf house. I knew it had to be you and of course, I should have known there would be smashed potato grass!!
Thanks for the laugh today....felt good!!
Posted by: Janey at January 23, 2006 12:46 PM
You're amazing. Now I foresee a whole pile of people challenging you to make architectural masterpieces that you can eat. In fact I'm trying to think of one now and I can't!
You are a culinary genius. I bow to you.
Sal xxx
Posted by: Sal at January 23, 2006 01:51 PM
LOL! Great Birthday Twin Minds think alike!
Posted by: Julie at January 23, 2006 02:26 PM
I meatloaf house is just somehow so very cheerful. I should use mashed potato "landscaping" with all of my meals to make up for the severe snowflake shortage I've been suffering this winter. I'll use just about any excuse to eat more mashed potatoes.
Posted by: Melissa at January 23, 2006 02:44 PM
And for your next trick, could I see a bolognaise condo?
You are totally marvellous
Posted by: Zoe at January 23, 2006 03:45 PM
The jew in me is totally repulsed but I still love you all the same...
Posted by: mindy at January 23, 2006 03:50 PM
Bravo! As if we needed further proof that you're a genius!
Posted by: DixiePeach at January 23, 2006 04:01 PM
Don't you mean "Meal estate?"
Gawd Robin...I know I get bored but damn you are the most creative bored person I know!
Posted by: SaraJane at January 23, 2006 06:39 PM
Shit, it took my computer almost ten minutes to load up all the meatloafy goodness. Perhaps you're an architecht in the making? Constanza would be proud!
Posted by: Blossom's Dad's Ho at January 23, 2006 07:40 PM
I have never heard of putting bacon on meatloaf either. And I LOVE bacon!
That looked very yummy!
Posted by: Jen at January 24, 2006 03:15 PM
