<

It has nothing to do with my kid. I love that little reunion when I pick her up. It's the other parents I could do without.

I saw this story on last night's local news:

THIEVES STEAL FROM MOTHERS AT DAY CARE CENTERS

Thieves are preying on young mothers when they drop-off their children at day care centers. They're only gone for minutes, but in that time thieves steal their cash, credit cards and check books. Beth Lyons was one of the victim's. Now she makes sure her car is always locked and her purse is with her. "It's horrible. It's just horrible. I'm still now dealing with it." Last month, police say two men stole Lyons wallet and started forging her checks at a south St. Louis supermarket (pictured). They both used Lyon's checkbook to buy groceries. Detective Tim Koncki says the crimes have happened at a child care facility in Creve Coeur as well as one in Maryland Heights where police have stepped up patrols. Brentwood officers are also investigating similar cases. Police say the thieves have hit about a half dozen times in West County.

What this little blurb from the website didn't mention was that most of these thefts happened because of the mothers leaving their purses on the front seat with the doors unlocked. One of the interviewees had even left her car running while she fetched her child, whining that she was in a hurry and the 20 seconds it takes to turn off the car and turn it back on again was just time she couldn't waste (although she had plenty of time to be interviewed on teevee). Besides, another mom went on to say, it's a daycare center. I assumed the area was safe.

As I watched I yelled, "Oh my God! Are you really that stupid? Honestly. Are you? Because if you are, how is it that you haven't been killed yet? How is it you haven't died in some senseless badmitton accident?"

At the risk of stating the obvious, daycare centers do not have invisible, inpenetrable fortresses of safety erected around their perimeters. Especially at times when parents are picking up their kids, there are enough people coming and going that someone could open an unlocked car door, grab a purse off the seat, and walk away unnoticed.

Duh.

I swore I wouldn't be one of those mothers who passes judgement on other moms. This motherhood business is hard enough without other moms being snarky and catty about the choices other moms make.

But good lord, some days it's really hard not to be judgemental. I certainly passed plenty of judgement on the moms I saw on the news last night. But then again, had they been people without kids, whining about getting stuff stolen from their unlocked cars, I'd be passing judgement, too.

I catch myself passing judgement every Thursday when I drop off and pick up Clara Jane. Like this morning. I was preparing to make the right-hand turn into the daycare center's parking lot when another mom, coming from the opposite direction, cut me off to make a left-hand turn into the lot. Like it's a damn race. Maybe she was in a hurry. No. When I left, she was standing in the lobby, having a leisurely chat with another mom. You better believe I formed some rather strong opinions about her.

The daycare is in a church, and I figure quite a few of the parents know each other from the church. Or they live in the same area. I just know that Clara Jane's been going there for five months and I can't tell you the name of one single parent whose child is in Clara Jane's class. At most, we've exchanged polite smiles.

Once a month the daycare offers juice and coffee for the parents in the lobby, and the chance to sit and get acquainted. I stopped by the first month, prepared to get acquainted with my fellow parents. Now, I'm not a shy person. Not even slightly. I will pretty much go up to anyone and start a conversation. But there was something about this group of mothers, with their backs to me, engaged in their own quiet conversations. I stood there with my styrofoam cup of bad Folgers, alone, trying to make eye contact with women who seemed determined to not make eye contact with me.

I wonder if this is an indicator of what Clara Jane's entire school career is going to be like, if I'm going to be Odd Mom Out. It doesn't really bother me if I am, but I do worry about how it might affect Clara Jane. She might carry the burden of having The Weird Mom. I guess there are worse burdens for a kid to carry. If anything, maybe it'll teach her that it's okay to be different and not compromise herself just for the sake of being accepted.

But you know what? I walked past the monthly coffee moms this morning, unnoticed. And as I walked out the door, I wondered which ones had left their car doors unlocked with their purses on the front seat.

And then I laughed.