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March 25, 2006
In Which My Lovely Weekend Plans are Foiled by Snot
I'm so disappointed.
This weekend was going to be great. A friend of mine that I haven't seen in nearly four years is in town, and last night a gaggle of us headed to the Cowboy Mouth show. I'd been feeling a little off-kilter all day, but once inside the smokey, airless club it hit me. Snot. A massive, giant headful of snot, seeping into my ears and every other available pathway out of my head. It was like the snot all showed up for some huge Lollapalooza-like festival in my head, only to find out that Yanni was the headlining act, thus leading to a mass exodus and, well, I think that's enough of that similie.
I bailed out of the show, and what would have been a lovely night with my pals in a lovely hotel, because the snot wanted to go home, drink hot tea, and sleep. I tried to ignore it, but the snot rioted like a bunch of drunk frat boys fed up with paying $5/bottle for water.
I'm not sure where the snot-as-music-festival similies are coming from. I blame the snot. And the lack of oxygen to my brain caused by the snot. The handful of ibuprofen, multiple forms of Zicam, mentholated cough drops and mass amounts of sugared tea probably aren't doing my coherency skills any favors, either.
I've been sick all winter, and I'm fed the fuck up. I'm sick of having a headful of snot. I'm sick of wiping snot off my child. I'm sick of listening to B. hork snot. And I'm really sick of typing the word snot, so I'm just going to stop. Now.
Snot.
GODDAMN MOTHERFUCKING ASSHOLE MUCUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
There. I feel better. Although in rereading that, I should be glad that I just have plain ol' head thatwordi'mnotsayingagain instead of asshole mucus. Right. Stopping now.
Cold drugs are fun, especially when mixed. I've got sort of a Zicam casserole roasting away in my system. And while I'm still stuffed up, I'm gradually becoming so loopy that I just don't give a shit anymore. Who needs breathing when you're packing such a sweet buzz?
Before the slime attack, my pals and I were hanging out at my place yesterday afternoon. One of them mentioned something that I agreed with whole-heartedly: She told us about a conversation she had with a co-worker about pet peeves. Co-worker said something to the extent of, "I'm bothered by people who have no ability to rally." Word. As my friend put it, "If you're out with me and at 10:30 you're whining about being tired and needing to go home, well, you better get over it because I'm not done having a good time and you're going with me."
Last night, I was unable to rally. Not even beer could save me. Not. Even. Beer.
So today, I'm preparing to rally. I've slept. Not as much as I would have liked, but more than I have in awhile. I've medicated. Extensively. I'm working on accepting the underwater-floating feeling in my ears, the pressure behind my eyes, the lack of alertness. People pay good money to feel like this, and I'm getting the luxury of feeling this way for free!!! And without all the potential damage to my DNA to boot. B. and Clara Jane are out, fetching me chicken soup from Pumpernickle's. Rally. I'm going to rally. I'm going to do this. There may not be another concert tonight, but there's still time to hang with my friends. Rally! Rally! Rally!
I was talking to another friend (Yes, all my friends are nameless, since none of the ones I'm talking about have blogs. Besides, I can't remember any of their names right now anyway.) earlier this week about getting old, and how we just can't go like we did when we were in our 20s. I had bronchitis for all of winter semester when I was a freshman in college. But damn if I let that stop me. Granted, with all the Robitussin I had in my system, it generally just took one alcoholic beverage to land me snoring on the floor. Sleep is good for you when you're sick. Even if it's sleep on a stinky frat house couch, which probably explains why I was so sick for so long.
At this point I figure, I feel like hell anyway. I can either feel like hell in my sweatpants on the couch, or I can feel like hell at a bar with my friends. I'm opting for the latter, as I've had plenty of the former in recent weeks. Don't worry - I'll have someone in the group write down what happens because even if I don't drink, I'm sure I won't remember.
Rally! Rally! Rally! Rally 'round the Zicam! Rally 'round the Robitussin! Rally 'round the big snoring heap on the floor!
Snot.
Posted by Robin at March 25, 2006 11:48 AM
Comments
I've been sick a lot this year too... it's inevitable when you have a baby who goes to daycare and brings home every germ in the world. Hope you feel better soon.
Posted by: Julie at March 25, 2006 12:35 PM
Rally!! Hope you're back to feeling good soon. I'm fighting the s-n-o-t too but it's because I'm cleaning. I'm allergic to cleaning - so why do I do it?!
Posted by: carrster at March 25, 2006 01:29 PM
i have a remedy! words like a charm! stir about a quarter to a half teaspoon of cayenne pepper into a glass of water and drink. i snot you not. you'll be clear in seconds.
Posted by: kara at March 25, 2006 08:35 PM
I've been sick all winter too.
I hope you manage to have an awsome time tonight!
Posted by: Johanna Cagan at March 25, 2006 09:37 PM
Remember getting drunk in your dorm room listening to Smells Like Teen Spirit???? I was sick then. Oh Lord... if THEN was NOW I'd be on my couch crying and tweeking on TheraFlu.
Posted by: Big Daddy B at March 26, 2006 12:43 AM
Yuk. I hope you are feeling better soon.
Posted by: Nancy at March 26, 2006 07:01 AM
Pardon the pun, but that really blows. Rally hard today!!!
Posted by: Exena Humpamonkey at March 26, 2006 09:30 AM
Yikes! It's Mucus Madness in the Poppy household!
I'm feeling quite lucky. Even though I've had two colds this winter they're the first I've had in years so I can't really complain.
Rally. And blow your nose.
Posted by: Dixie at March 26, 2006 01:29 PM
how bizarro! my comment posted as carrster? ghost in the machine?
Posted by: kara at March 26, 2006 02:29 PM
now i'm dixie! who will i be next?
Posted by: kara at March 26, 2006 02:29 PM
yay! i'm ME!!!!! did the cayenne work?
Posted by: kara at March 26, 2006 02:30 PM
That's so bizarre, Kara. I have no idea what's up.
I tried the cayenne before bed last night. While I was drinking it, I was trying to recall if I did something really horrible to you in high school and that was your way of finally getting revenge. But then five minutes, when I could suddenly breathe, I knew you were on the up-and-up. It really did help, but damn if it didn't suck at first.
My mom swears by a tablespoon of honey mixed with cayenne for sore throats. I've done that a few times, and it works.
Big Daddy, I had totally forgotten about how sick you were that night! I'm sure the vodka destroyed whatever germs were in your system.
For the record, I rallyed. I rallyed big-time. I rallyed so well that today, I'm moving in slow motion. No more rallying for me. Ever. Pass the pepper, please.
Posted by: Poppy at March 26, 2006 02:45 PM
This winter has sucked for me as well. My allergies have been worse than ever before thereby making sure I've had a headful of s.n.o.t. most of the time. Now that spring has moved in the pollen is trying to kill me. Bleh!
I hope you feel better very soon.
Posted by: Barefoot Cajun at March 27, 2006 05:08 PM
Eeeeeeewwwwwwwww, Yanni.
My allergist told me to do two shots of Afrin in each nostril, wait 10 minutes and then do two shots of Ocean (or any nasil saline spray) in each nostril. It really helps evict the snot and stops those horrible allergy attacks cold. The only caveat is that you shouldn't indulge more than twice a day and then for no more than three days because of the highly addictive nature of Afrin. I figure with the nasty sneeze attacks I get (a 200-count box of Kleenex in several hours), I'll risk the addiction.
Posted by: liz at March 28, 2006 02:48 PM
