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I AM NOT: crazy about rust like I was when I was little. It's true. I loved anything rusted-out, especially Wendy's dad's truck. I thought it was beautiful. While I no longer have my rust affinity, it seems I've passed it along to my child. During her recent stay in my hometown, Clara Jane fell head over heels for this:


It's a big rusty cactus located in front of a Mexican restaurant. She first spotted it during dinner on Sunday. Monday, she woke up sobbing from her nap and the only thing that brought it under control? The promise of visiting the cactus. My parents drove this child across town just so she could fondle her old rusty cactus. These are the same people who used to make me walk or ride my bike the mile to the library once I hit the ripe old age of 11.

Since she's returned home, I've been repeatedly told, "I had fun at the cactus. Mimi and Grandpa took me to the cactus. The cactus is beautiful. I like the cactus." I'm trying to not think that this cactus obsession is an indication that her teenage rebellion might involve roaming the desert southwest in a peyote-fueled daze. Don't drink the cactus water, Clara Jane!

I DANCE: with Clara Jane when her cactus isn't available.

I SING: a lot, and badly. Today it was repeated renditions of Bruce Springsteen's version of "Johny Henry". Polly drove that steel like a man, Lawd, Lawd.

I CRY: all the time. I'm a big baby. This week I cried:

• when Elliott got the boot on "American Idol", even though I voted for Taylor.
  
• when Jack and Karen sang "Unforgettable" on the "Will & Grace" finale.
  
• because I've been far too emotionally invested in TV lately.
  
• while looking at Father's Day books at the bookstore.
  
• when Clara Jane fell asleep on me. It was that profound, I'm telling ya.

I AM NOT ALWAYS: as anti-capitalist as I wish I could be. I do pretty well. I don't buy crap I don't need, and I never, ever feel like a product is going to make my life better. But I just can't shake my Target addiction. Case in point: remember a few minutes ago when I mentioned my issues with snakes? Well, here's how strong the lure of the red bullseye is. While walking across the parking lot at Target today I spotted a van that had to be something from a Simpsons episodes. No way did I really see this. A white van advertising a business called - I'm not making this up - "Snakes Alive!". Apparently they do snake-related educational programs. Their logo? "Have snakes, will travel!" And I'm thinking, "In order to get into Target, I have to walk past what could very well be a large delivery van full of snakes, which is worse than the worst snake-related nightmare I've ever had. How badly do I want to go to Target?"

Pretty badly, it turns out.

I MAKE WITH MY HANDS: boobies. Lots and lots of knitted boobies. I also make food, hopping bunnies, obscene gestures and Play-Doh sculptures.

I WRITE: much and well.

I CONFUSE: left and right, just like Zoe.

I NEED: nada. I'm good right now. But if someone offered to bring me a glass of sweet tea, I wouldn't send them away.

I SHOULD: do some cleaning. My desk is trashed.

I START: trouble.

I FINISH: what I started, mostly.

I TAG: no one, but you're all welcome to steal.

I shuffle: weekly...

1. Skyway - The Replacements
2. Smells Like Teen Spirit - Tori Amos
3. Pretty Good Looking for a Girl - White Stripes
4. Factory - The Vines
5. Stratford-on-Guy - Liz Phair
6. Jesus, Etc. - Wilco
7. Straight, No Chaser - Thelonious Monk
8. Skin - Madonna
9. 72 (This Highway's Mean) - Drive-By Truckers
10. I Can't Wait - White Stripes

You know what? Swap the Madonna song for something by U2, and this would be, without question, the most perfect-for-me shuffle in the history of shuffles. Did I mention that my life is charmed today? Because it is.