« Let the Whining Commence ... or Bring it to an End | Main | Shit I Couldn't Make Up If I Tried »

October 17, 2006

Gloves Are Off

Okay. So I tried to make nice yesterday with all the Murphy's law-type crap that happened. I still stand by my knowledge that none of it was too bad, just minor annoyances.

But I've got to tell you, how many minor annoyances can a person deflect before something in her brain pops?

Here's a list of the shit that's put me in a foul mood during the first waking ninety minutes of my day:


  • Oversleeping and missing out on fun stuff.
  • Goddamn fruit flies.
  • My body's sudden revolt over anything containing garlic. Instead of yumming up the garlicky goodness, my innards and I now spend the fifteen hours following garlic consumption belching it back up.
  • I colored my hair last night. I look like Morticia Aadams. It didn't magically lighten up while I slept.
  • Fucking comment spam! I've lost track of how many comment spams I've deleted in the past few days. There was a big, steaming pile of them this morning.
  • My own inability to get WordPress up and running, so I can be rid of the fucking spammers, and my stubbornness, lazy nature that's prevented me from getting help in installing WordPress.
  • Oh, this is rich. This is just great. I'm having problems with the Gmail address I use for this blog and my Etsy shop because someone spoofed that email address.
  • The fact that there are enough people using the internet who are ignorant enough to make things like spamming and spoofing profitable for the parasites who have chosen spamming and spoofing as their lifes' work.
  • Stupid congestion.
  • Stupid dogs, who are too delicate to get their feet on the rain-soaked ground, opting instead to shit on my backyard sidewalk.
  • Sewer workers are banging on the street in front of my house. That's never a sign of anything good.
  • Dear Toaster: Five seconds against the coils does not toast make, you piece of shit. Why haven't I replaced you?

    That's it. I'm going to bare-knuckle punch Murphy (of the law, not the sidewalk-shitting but my, that's tempting) in the face.

    But there is some good stuff ...

    The universe obviously knows that it's my birthday week and for once it's opting to do some good. It's Wilco Week!


  • Our cable system's On Demand service is showing I Am Trying to Break Your Heart for free all month.
  • The Wilco/Bright Eyes Austin City Limits is re-airing on the local PBS affiliate on my birthday.
  • Sunken Treasure DVD comes out a week from today, just in time for people who remember to buy me gifts two days after my birthday.
  • In today's paper, there are articles with every guy named Jay who was ever a band mate with Jeff Tweedy: Farrar and Bennett, who happens to be playing in St. Louis the night I'm seeing Wilco in Pennsylvania.

    I refuse to believe that the universe is merely taunting me with all these little coincidences, no matter the other messages the universe keeps sending me.

    • Posted by Robin at October 17, 2006 10:07 AM

    Comments

    Robin, that garlic thing is a malady we here in the Summer Household call "garlic junior." It's familiar enough an ailment that it has its own name. (Also in common use: onion junior. And we use the phrase "the beef stews" to describe any unpleasant lower-digestive ailment, thanks to a heinous and embarassing experience I once had with, yes, beef stew. Oh, dignity, I hardly knew ye...)

    Anyway: Garlic Jr. is also a sideways reference to a DragonballZ character our son used to dig named, appropriately enough, Garlic Jr.

    It will be a good birthday week, I bet, once you wade through all the sidewalk shit. Alas...and yay!

    Posted by: Summer at October 17, 2006 12:28 PM

    Dude, what day is your birthday? We are close to being opposites/half birthday twinsies, because my b-day is April 26th. (Also need to know for logistical purposes so I can see if the Wilco show is playing here.)

    My condolences on the garlic. Even when it causes a raging bonfire within my heart, I must continue to consume it in mass quantities.

    Confession: I've never seen the IATTBYH movie. I have a tendency to dive head-first into personal obsession with famous people I love, so I generally avoid fodder for that kind of thing. But I'm about to cave and check it out, because I think I've finally become grown up enough to hang and modulate.

    Wilco week, no kidding. Today's the first day that I actually listened to anything BUT Wilco since the concert a week ago: I just downloaded the new albums from Beck and Richard Buckner.

    Posted by: michelle/weaker vessel at October 17, 2006 12:55 PM

    Robin, I'm sorry you had such a rotten day, but man...you have a way with words. I laughed out loud at your post - esp the note to the toaster. :-)

    Posted by: barbara at October 17, 2006 09:40 PM

    I was in Belleville just yesterday....I had no idea it was that awesome over there...didn't see any sewer workers. :)

    Posted by: pkb at October 18, 2006 09:06 AM

    Yes, Belleville is great! You should all move over now! There's a house for sale on my street* -- it's at the end of the cul-de-sac, minutes from downtown STL and even closer to TWO (count 'em! Two!) Eckert's farms!

    * I prefer families with toddlers, please.

    Posted by: Mary at October 18, 2006 10:03 AM

    This was the first 90 minutes of your day? That's just so wrong. I loved the note to the toaster too.

    Posted by: Katya at October 18, 2006 08:19 PM