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You have my deepest wishes that you get some sleep and peace from you troubles soon.

Just a thought but I know Clara Jane loves going to play at daycare. Maybe if she went for two days a week you guys would get more of a break from each other. I think you are an awsome Mom by the way, and Clara Jane may test your patience and sanity at times but she will grow into self confident and strong woman with your devoted love and care giving.

Hang in there and know that a Vegas vacation is only a plane ride away.

Oh, Robin, the immensity of this post leaves me not knowing what to say. I know mothering is a hard and thankless job, and sticking to one's guns is even less so. I'm sorry all the crap is taking its toll on you at once. Fuck you, Tree!

Someday, I promise, Clara Jane will thank you. Chin up as far as possible, lass. If not to better shoulder the burdens, at least to avoid looking at so much stuff at ground level.

Personal aside: My mom was the disciplinarian, while my bio-dad was the druggie-psycho-womanizer. Yet, he was the one I loved and the one I wanted, even after I saw him beating her, even after he walked out on us. I kept wanting him for a good long while after that, too. But, of course, that wore off as I matured. I don't think my Mom ever forgave me for wanting him during my childhood, and as a result I have a solid record of feeling the brunt of her anger and exhaustion. I guess I'm telling you this to let you know that even smart kids don't really get it. Someday she will. Forgive her until then.

It's a pretty damn dark hole isn't it?

Just keep stepping, I swear to GOD it will get brighter. Just hold on.

Hold on with everything you've got, I swear this load will get lighter and you can to redistribute this weight and be strong enough to press on.

I promise. As one who loves you dearly, I promise.

I'll help you.

Depression is tough. But that album doesn't sound like the most uplighting. Just saying. . .

pkb's right. And I promise too. Just take one more step forward. Don't think of anything past that - just one more step. And then take one more after that. You just have to keep moving forward because you really will get through this.

Love yourself like we love you. You know we do.

You have my fullest sympathy. I know what works for me is long brisk walks in the sun, all the sunlight exposure I can get, and a full spectrum light bulb. I do hope you will be feeling better soon!

Robin, it hurts to hear you so troubled. I hope that you are feeling a little stronger, a little more balanced. I'm so sorry that you have to go through these times of such hurt.

Clara Jane is a beautiful child-- inside and out-- and your incredible love for her is inspiring. You're a great mom, no matter what the depression makes you think.

You've made it so far battling this rotten disease. Hang on, because you are truly very loved, valued, and wanted in many poeples lives.

I hope you find your peace very soon. love you.

Got no wise words today (depression's been kicking my own butt lately) but I'm here, reading, even when I feel too overwhelmed to say anything.

*hugs*

Thanks everyone. Sometimes a depressed gal just needs a little love.

I should mention that I hate posting about depression. I really do, because I hate for people to worry about me. If I'm at the point where I'm writing about being depressed, it usually means the worst is over. For me, writing it down is my way of kicking the depression out. Unfortunately, I suck at conveying this in what I write, and for that I apologize. I put the writing on my blog because I do like getting an extra little validation and love, but also because there are a lot of people suffering from the same thing. I know that I feel better if someone articulates what I'm feeling and I can relate to it. By posting my depression rambles on my blog, there's a chance someone might read it and get it.

The downside is, it seems like someone always takes what I say the wrong way. I've lost friends over posts like this. Today's post gave me an added bit of stress that I really didn't need, but that's the consequences of leaving ones guts all over the internet, right? I guess it illustrates just how misunderstood depression still is. All the more reason to talk about it publically. A lot.

Kim, I would love to be on a plane to Vegas to see you soon. Really. You're always good for my soul.

Summer, thanks for that story. It helps. It does. Logically, I know that kids always want the parent who isn't there, or isn't the disciplinarian. I'm going to keep your story tucked into my brain as a reminder to never hold this against Clara Jane.

PKB, you're the best.

Norma, no, it's not the most uplifting album. I can't handle uplifting music when I'm down. I need something I can relate to, the articulation of what I'm feeling. Generally, once I get that, I can start getting over it. That was definitely the case today. Besides, the album's not a total downer. There's a lot of spunk in the final songs, just not in the lyrics I posted.

Dixie, would it be cheesy for me to say I love you in German right now? Probably.

Bee, thanks. I got luck today in that it was unseasonably warm and sunny. I know that helped me kick it.

Annie, love and miss you. Thanks for your words.

Lill, I've read some of the things you've had to say about depression in the past. I know you get it, and I'm sorry you're dealing with the, too. I'm reading, too.

For what it's worth, I hope you're feeling better soon. I really do.

I'm sure I've left this in the comments before, but I'll say it again... Clara Jane's a great kid because she's got such a great Mommy, and I wish you both all the best.

You're on my mind, I hope you're feelin' better soon.

Girl, I was weak and couldn't say anything the first time I read this, because it was just too damn close to home. I'm sure you can imagine how many times I've been right there with AGIB. Anyway, tons of good vibes coming atcha from approximately 400 miles south. I'm thinking of you often. And affirming your absolute right to write about whateverthefuck you want to.