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January 10, 2007
I Wish a Bite Plate
You know how easy it is to latch onto a line from a TV show, movie, book, etc, and find places to use it in your everyday life, I'm sure. Many of our lines come from "King of the Hill", and one of our favorites involves main character Hank getting a colonoscopy and the proctologist asking, "Do you wish a bite plate?" before inserting, well, whatever they insert during that particular test.
I have never wished a bite plate so badly in my life. My teeth and jaws are killing me. I'm a grinder. Always have been. The grinding increases with emotional intensity, which means my current state of real estate-induced mania/happiness/excitement/fear/disappointment/panic/joy is taking its toll. By the end of this week, my pretty teeth are going to look like tiny corn kernals. I'm pretty sure one of yesterday's grinding session impacted the top of my left incisor into my frontal lobe.
Yes, poppymom.com is now solely a real estate blog. Feel free to drop dead from boredom at your earliest convenience. I'm sorry. Really, I am.
As of Monday night, we have an official for sale sign in our front yard. We haven't started the freak parade of home viewers, nor have we decided on a selling price. Basically, we have a sign, an agent, and a pile of intimidating papers that need to be faxed to the agent. I'm placing a higher priority on getting a St. Joseph statue buried in the yard than I am on returning the paperwork. I almost stopped at a Catholic supply store the other day, but I couldn't remember which saint I was supposed to bury. It seemed crass to go in and say, "Yeah, can I borrow your religion for a month or two? Thanks."
All was going well until Tuesday afternoon. B. was putting together paperwork for our new mortgage broker and asked if I remembered the property tax amount for the new house. I didn't, so I went to the house's listing.
And it was gone.
If there was any doubt regarding how much we want this house and this move, it was vanquished when we made this discovery. While B. started the frantic phone calls to agents and such, I borrowed just about every religion I could think of, short of doing the naked Pagan real estate dance in my backyard, as 1) it's cold, and 2) that dance lowers the property value of the entire neighborhood.
The seller, tired of being stuck with a non-selling house, decided to take it off the market and lease it. This could work in our favor, if someone hasn't signed a lease already. In a perfect world ....
Okay, sorry. I had to roll around in hysterics on the floor upon using that phrase.
What I'd like to see happen: We offer to buy her house on contingency of ours selling, with a provision that she can rent it so long as the renters are gone when it's time for us to take possession. Sound reasonable? I don't know. I know nothing about real estate other than I don't want the real estate I currently have, and I want the real estate she's wanting to unload. In those terms, I think my idea allows everyone to win a little bit.
I'd also like to add a provision that the seller will purchase denture for me, because I'll surely be toothless by then.
Posted by Robin at January 10, 2007 03:31 PM
Comments
Oh dear god. My stomach did a little flip flop when I scrolled down the page.
I'm crossing my knitting needles for you!
Posted by: allison at January 10, 2007 05:16 PM
"tired of being stuck with a non-selling house" should totally work in your favor -- when I read that, I think "ready to sell for a lower price."
We're wishing you the best of luck!!
((And I really like the new Pink! Very Cute!))
Posted by: Debbie at January 10, 2007 05:20 PM
I'm sure you know of many, but there's a "Religious Supplies" store on W. Clay near 1st Capitol...since you'll be in the area...
Posted by: Jane at January 10, 2007 05:36 PM
Okay, our house has been on the market since last May. I'm driving 3 hours back to Erie and doing this. And I'm a pagan.
Posted by: Eden at January 10, 2007 06:26 PM
Maybe a leather strap and some whiskey will work better? Sending good vibes your way that everything works out in your favor!! (we're due for something good, right?)
Posted by: Exena at January 10, 2007 06:55 PM
I love the new pink theme - and the "Please Buy My Crapshack" line in the festive font slays me.
Oh and head on in to the Catholic supply and ask for the statue...they *will* know which saint you want. :-)
Posted by: barbara at January 10, 2007 08:44 PM
So my comment is either going to make you feel all warm and fuzzy, or creep you the hell out. I hope it's the former.
I had a dream last night that I was in St. Louis visiting our renter (as in, after 6 months of being on the market, we decided to rent my house for a while so we weren't eating the mortgage on an empty house) and I went over to your house. (which is strange, because while we've had dinner together, I have no idea where you actually live.)
Anyway, I stopped by to offer moral support, and there was a moving truck in the front and you were busy boxing up stuff to take to the new house! Your house had sold, and the other one was yours, and it had all happened in the hours it took me to drive down 55. I offered to help out, and then went with you to PrettyTown to the new place, which was wonderful, and then Clara Jane took my hand and showed me the swing-set that was waiting in the back yard.
Again, I know it's totally random (and well, kind of creepy?) to have dreams that involve people you barely know, but that's how much I wish you to have this house, it slipped into my subconscious and I'm sending positive vibes to you 24/7, all from the Windy City. Best of luck!
Posted by: Meghan at January 10, 2007 11:18 PM
