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May 12, 2007

Friday(ish) Shuffle - Like I Ever Post on Fridays From My Hometown Edition

And like I can form coherent paragraphs this week. Here's the short version.

Drive to hometown Friday night. Sucked. No air conditioning. Truck. Two adults, one child, two hot, stinky dogs. We usually make the drive without stops, but we were so hot we stopped halfway for 20 minutes of fresh air and convenience store air conditioning. In a stroke of pure luck, had we not stopped we would have been smack-dab in the middle of a huge, ugly wreck at the turn-off to my parents' road.

I finally made it to the local yarn shop. The owner is pretty nuts, which isn't necessarily a bad thing. I bought four skeins of Brown Sheep sock yarn and two skeins of Brown Sheep worsted weight wool, and spent less than $20.

Since I didn't get my mom's ugly orthopedic Crocs for Mother's Day, I got her a gorgeous chocolate cake at the new fancy-pants local bakery that I love. We're going to eat it for breakfast tomorrow. Just the moms.

We went for a family horse-drawn surrey ride this morning. I wasn't ready, as I was still braless and in pajamas. A word to the wise - braless surrey rides hurt.

But the horses love me. I think one of them wanted to make sweet love to me, even. Let's just say I had horse slobber down my back and leave it at that.

It just wouldn't be Mother's Day if my dogs didn't escape from my parents' yard and go adventuring. At least it happened while I was cake and yarn-shopping and I didn't find out until after the fact, as the annual Mother's Day Weekend Hound Escape! tends to bring on massive panic attacks and family feuds.

Clara Jane got a giant swing set for the new house for Mother's Day. I'm not sure how she managed the $200 gift, considering how little birth she's given. But that's cool.

She also got a t-shirt from The Cuz - black with an old-school tattoo-style heart that says "Mom". But when you ask Clara Jane what it says, she replies, "It says Bob." Hi. I'm Bob.

Speaking of tattoo-style shirts, my 76-year-old great-aunt Helen showed up tonight wearing a similar shirt to Clara Jane's. Except instead of Mom or Bob, it said "Hot Stuff". I'll bet you wish I wasn't so lazy right now and would upload the pictures of it. Because there's just something about a 76-year-old great-aunt in a shirt that says "Hot Stuff".

Great-Aunt Helen told a story tonight about how she's been getting calls from some guy who claims he saw her add on Modern Mature Lady dot com. My great-aunt, hot stuff she may be, but she doesn't own a computer. This guy also claimed that her imaginary ad claimed that she's "a full-bodied woman". Apparently, he's just randomly calling women in the phone book in hopes of finding an old, fat, single chick. Granny Viv says that this is a good reason for single ladies to have their phone listings with just their first initial. I argue that, if that happens, how are guys ever going to meet old, fat, single chicks?

I'm so tired I can barely shuffle.

Posted by Robin at May 12, 2007 10:34 PM

Comments

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