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July 29, 2007
The Boob and the Tube
I don't spend much time watching TV. I've got a handful of shows I like - "Scrubs", "My Name is Earl", and "New Adventures of Old Christine". I can easily get sucked into Discovery Channel (especially if there's a "Dirty Jobs" marathon involved), History Channel, and History International if I'm not careful. And while I generally mock reality TV, I get a wee bit obsessive over "American Idol" every year. Then there's the reality shows on A&E and Bravo. Somehow, being on these slightly more highbrow channels removes all reality show guilt. Still, sitting in front of the TV? I'm far too manic for that.
Something's happened to me in this new house, particularly on Sundays. Maybe the precident of severe laziness was set the day after the Boob-Ha-Ha auction, when everyone in the house slept until noon, ate hot wings for breakfast, and sat on our asses staring at either the TV or the various computer monitors.
Oh, so this is why people sit on their asses and do nothing. Because it's fun!
Last Sunday, my ass barely moved from the basement couch. I can't even remember what I watched. All I recall is that it was in marathon form, and on either Discovery or History Channel, so as to make me not a complete slack. I remember - it was nothing but serial killers, all day.
Did I mention that I at least knit or blog while watching hours of TV about serial killers? And sometimes I parent, if necessary. So I'm not being a complete blob. I'm a complete blob with very light yarn callouses on my fingers.
A&E sucker-punched me today. First, with Intervention. By God, I may be a fat, lazy slob glued to my couch and knitting but damn, at least I'm not that woman who goes to sleep with her jug o' Walmart brand mouthwash for easy buzz access when she comes to. Suddenly, I'm feeling pretty awesome about myself. Which is why reality TV's so popular, isn't it?
Even though "Intervention" makes me feel good about my own life, it's still pretty fucking depressing. I turned off A&E and watched a few History Channel shows about the Doomsday Clock. Then, to undo the panic, I took in some Gene Simmons' Family Jewels, which sounds dirty but would require far more energy than I'm willing to exert.
And now, how can I pass this up? It's The Two Coreys! Holy God, how can I possibly look away? It's like every one of my 14-year-old fantasies have come true! Well, not really, since my 14-year-old fantasies didn't involve one Corey being a fussbudget and the other being a jackass. All of this makes me feel even better about myself because 1) I'm not Corey Haim, and 2) I don't have to live with him.
Could someone please jab a sock knitting needle into my eye before "Confessions of a Matchmaker" comes on and completely melts my brain?
Posted by Robin at July 29, 2007 08:57 PM
Comments
I got so sucked into the Gene Simmons marathon today. I did fold some laundry and bake a lemon pound cake, but all accompanied by the ongoing life of Shannon, Sophie, Nick and that ass who I kind of find funny.
Posted by: Lisa V at July 29, 2007 10:16 PM
After schleping laundry all ower town, I settled in for the Gene Simons. I can't help it - I find them entertaining.
Plus, it the sort of tv that you just have to have on (not watch), so I finiished part of a BSJ and cought up on work.
Posted by: count sassy at July 30, 2007 01:31 AM
Everyone has a dirty TV secret, don't feel bad.
I couldn't take much of The Two Coreys. I think I've seen Haim's strung-out meth-head, gel-spiking twin in the Loughborough Schnucks. He was so twitchy!
And Feldman's wife? EAT SOMETHING and stop getting IMPLANTS!
Posted by: allison at July 30, 2007 07:26 AM
I am completely obsessed with Ice Road Truckers - it's on the History Channel, and I can't get enough!
Posted by: whirled_peas at July 30, 2007 08:16 AM
I must confess that I've been dying to check out The Two Coreys. What the fuck is wrong with me? Poor brain-fried Cory Haim. Who knew that Feldman would end up being the um, more well-adjusted of the two?
Since school is over after this week, I think I need subject myself to one or two of these episodes...
Posted by: Exena at July 30, 2007 09:37 AM
Ha! I've hooked my man on Family Jewels....About twice an episode he says something like, "That was so set up." But he has the remote and I don't notice him changing the channels. As for the Two Coreys; well, I just can't watch that for very long. It's kind of depressing.
Posted by: Amy in StL at July 30, 2007 10:18 AM
I had the biggest crush on Corey Haim, and yet cannot bring myself to watch the show because I'm sad at how he looks.
And this week I will be glued to my couch for Shark Week on the Discovery Channel. I can't help it.
Posted by: Tiffany at July 30, 2007 11:59 AM
I love Gene. I've watched for awhile now. Last night at the horse track was awesome. I don't know if they showed the camping episode yesterday, but if you haven't seen it, you must.
The two Coreys, all I can say, is that wife is a bitch and a half. I turned off the second episode I couldn't stand it anymore.
Cassie
Posted by: Cassie at July 30, 2007 01:18 PM
We have junk TV here but less of it. America has junk TV confections out the wazoo it seem.
I have a feeling that when I come to the US, turn on the TV and flip through the channels I'm going to feel like B did the first time he ever left East Germany and went to a supermarket in West Germany - complete sensory overload.
I'd have been all over that serial killer stuff like ugly on an ape. Fascinating and scary at the same time.
Posted by: Dixie at July 30, 2007 01:55 PM
Well, this past weekend I got partially (when I wasn't asleep - I was sick all weekend) sucked into "The Godfather" marathon on A & E (or maybe Bravo). That's all they played all weekend. Then when the trilogy ended, they started over. I swear I saw the Diane Keaton/Al Pacino abortion scene at least three times this weekend, you know the one: "It was an abortion, Michael, an abortion. Just like our marriage is an abortion. Something that's unholy and evil."
You gotta love it. As for the Coreys, I barely know who they are - I was too old when they were big, so I have no desire whatsoever to watch that debacle. The same for Gene Simmons - I think he's a misogynistic ass. He's the only person I've heard piss off the intrepid Terry Gross of NPR's "Fresh Air" - he was so crude and obnoxious he really annoyed her.
But I too have fallen to the lure of the marathons - particularly on VH1...scary!
Posted by: Hilda at July 30, 2007 08:01 PM
