Poppy Mom: Good Deeds Archives

July 02, 2007

Boob-Ha-Ha

Posted by Robin at 10:18 PM | Comments (1)

March 19, 2007

Four Years

I tend to avoid political topics when I blog. Not because I lack an interest or passion for the stuff discussed in civics classes. It's because I spend so much of my time glued to reading news sources and wallowing the state of the world around in my head that I'd rather use my blog for personal means instead of political.

But we all know that the personal is political, so sometimes there's overlap.

Four years ago today, I was trying to get pregnant. Actively trying to get pregnant. Afterwards, while scrounging the kitchen for dinner, I turned on the TV just in time to see the beginning of the president's address, informing us of the "shock and awe" campaign.

Shocked? Yes. Awed? Not even a little. Shocked and disgusted, chagrined, saddened, embarrassed, and terrified's more like it.

I remember one thought so clearly from that night. I remember sitting on the couch, half-listening to the address and thinking, "What the hell are we thinking, trying to bring a child into this world right now?"

Obviously, those thoughts only momentarily deterred our efforts. Clara Jane was conceived two months later. I also don't talk about religion/spirituality on my blog for the same reasons I avoid political discussions, but I will say this. At Clara Jane's Methodist daycare, there's a framed print near the nursery that reads, "Babies are God's sign that the world will continue."

I was born in October, 1972, in the midst of the Vietnam War and the beginning of Watergate. Things were bad. And yet, here I am, along with a lot of other people who grew up, too little to understand Vietnam and Nixon, but marked by it. I firmly believe that I picked up enough of what was going on when I was a child for it to form me into the raging anti-war liberal I've always been.

Who knows? Maybe it'll be kids like Clara Jane, born into this current mess, who will have the motivation to fix things. It's not fair to burden the next generation, but maybe they'll have the tools and experiences to figure it out.

Why the political rambling? My old pal Kara posted this weekend about the One Million Blogs for Peace initiative. If you look to the right you'll see that I've signed up. If you have a blog and think that all combat troops should be brought home immediately, please sign up and spread the word.

Kara's also a product of that Vietnam/Watergate era; she's ten months younger than me. We grew up together with buried nuclear missile silos in our town. It wasn't unusual to hear the civil defense sirens blowing in warning because a warhead was being transported on the highway that runs through the busiest part of our hometown on the way to the nearby air force base. I'll bet she remembers being in the car with her mom as a child, pulling over to the side of Broadway to let the camoflagued armoured vehicles pass. I'll bet she's also been in our hometown as an adult and has looked up to see the underbelly of the B-2 bomber flying overhead. In fifth grade, our hometown even got a shout-out in the TV movie The Day After. We'd been wiped out by a Russian nuclear attack, an idea that scared me so badly that I slept in my parents' bedroom for a month. And I hadn't even watched the movie; just knowing that scene existed and was a possibility was enough to scare me to my core.

We live near the airport that houses the Missouri Air National Guard. Fighter jets fly over our house in formation test runs twice a day. As a matter of fact, I can hear their rumble right now. 10 AM and 3 PM every single day, a reminder of war. After the president's address four years ago, B. and I headed to the grocery store to find dinner and get away from the news. We saw those same jets taking off, circling St. Louis in protection because of what our country had done. This isn't the kind of world I want for my child. I don't want her to grow up with a fear that's more based in reality than my Cold War fears nearly 25 years ago.

Soon enough I'll be back to writing about my usual crap. But today, I wanted to do a little something to make it clear that I don't agree with what's going on. I don't want another life lost in this fruitless mess. I want it over. I want our troops to come home and receive proper health care, both for their physical and mental health. I want retribution for the people of Iraq who've had their infrastructure destroyed, and who've lost so many more people than we have in this mess. I want peace.

Posted by Robin at 09:27 AM | Comments (7)

August 13, 2006

The Friday Shuffle: Alas for You, Boobie Scarves. You're Done. Edition

In less than a week The Cuz will be walking 60 miles in three days for the Susan G. Komen Foundation. And for six months, I have knit nothing but boobies to help her raise money for her walk. There have been pink boobies, green tweedy boobies, rosy pink and green boobies, and flaming sunset-orange boobies. Well, I also knit a baby sweater and hat, but boobies are involved there, you know.

And thanks to lovely readers of this blog like Jodi, Suzy, Roni, Debbie, and all the generous bidders who drove up the price, we've raised $235, which is awesome! But, Wendy (The Cuz) is still $215 shy of her $3000 fundraising goal. Let's help push her over the top, shall we?

This is it: the fifth and final auction for a boobie scarf, knit by me with a pattern by Jillian Moreno. Now that I'm finally done with these damn scarves, maybe I can finally knit something from her not-quite-so-new book, Big Girl Knits, which has been collecting dust on my desk while I knit boobs until my fingers bled.

Here's how it works: The auction starts immediately (Sunday, August 13th at 11:00 PM Central Daylight Time). Since this is the last auction, I'm going to run it a little longer. You have until Tuesday, August 15 at 12 noon Central Standard Time to place your bids. Bidding will start at $30. To place your bid, just post your amount in the comments. Bidding wars are highly encouraged.

The winner of the auction will donate the winning bid amount through Wendy's 3-Day donation page. Totally safe and secure - neither of us will see your payment info. Once you've donated, I'll send the scarf to you at my expense. 100% of your purchase goes to the Komen foundation.

Now, the details of this, the final scarf: It's 44" long and 4" wide, knit from Elsebeth Lavold Chunky AL yarn in "Midnight Sky". The yarn's 50% alpaca and 50% Peruvian wool. This is some soft, soft yarn. In fact, so soft that I had a hard time keeping it from sliding off my needles, making this, without question, the most annoying boobie scarf of all.

Unfortunately, because of the super-dark shade of blue, this is a particularly difficult scarf to capture in photos. Trust me, it looks just like the previous boobie scarves, only blue. Really dark blue. You can see all of the scarves right here.

Boobies love to shuffle two days late. Alas, no "My Humps". Or "Milkshake".

1. Train - Uncle Tupelo
2. 9 to 5 - Dolly Parton (Because it just wouldn't be a boobie scarf shuffle without her.)
3. Concrete and Barbed Wire - Lucinda Williams
4. Ain't Got No/I Got Life - Nina Simone (Although while listing all the body parts she's got, Nina doesn't mention her boobies. Win this auction, and you can sing this song and ad-lib because lemme tell you, you'll have 38 boobies in additon to however many you already have.)
5. A Long Walk - Jill Scott
6. English Civil War - The Clash
7. Just Friends - Charlie Parker
8. We are Underused - Pavement
9. Play the Music Toronados - The TSU Tornados
10. This Time - John Mellencamp

Posted by Robin at 10:23 PM | Comments (9)

June 28, 2006

Boobies at Sunset

Oh, I've been dragging my feet on this. Do you know how long boobie scarf #4 has been mostly-finished? A month. For a month it's been sitting in my knitting bag, in need of blocking.

Now, it's not like blocking is hard. And it's not like I haven't blocked three of these scarves already. It just felt like more than I could handle in my current state. To prove how difficult blocking is, I timed myself while I did it today.

40 minutes. A whole 40 minutes, 25 of which was spent in search of my straight pins. I spent another five eating a granola bar. It's hard work, I tell ya!

Obviously, we'd all better hope and pray that I never get a debilitating illness. I'm far too much of a weakling to handle it.

Speaking of which, here's the deal with the boobie scarves. My Vanilla Ice-listening cousin rocks the mic like a vandal and will be doing The Breast Cancer 3-Day in six short weeks. She'll be walking 60 miles in three days. In August! To raise money for the The Susan G. Komen Foundation. She's got a $2750.00 fundraising goal, and she's almost there!

Let's get her there really, really soon. Place a bid on this-here boobie scarf! It's hand-knitted by me from a pattern by Jill Moreno. As soon as I'm finished with my foray into tit-knitting, I'm plunging head-first into one of Jill's sweater projects from her book Big Girl Knits.

Here's how it works:

The auction begins immediately (11 PM central standard time on Wednesday, June 28th) and will end at 5 PM tomorrow, Thursday, June 29th. Bidding starts at $30. Place your bids in the comments and specifically state that you're bidding and what amount. Make sure you leave your email address!

Once bidding has ended, the winner will make a pledge directly through Wendy's 3-Day page. Donate the money in honor of "boobie scarf". You won't send me any money. You won't send Wendy any money. And you should be glad, because if you send us money, we'll probably use it to buy beer. We won't see your credit card number, either.

100% of the auction amount will go to the 3-Day. I'm covering all the expenses for the scarf, and I'll even pay for the shipping, overseas included.

Once the winner has donated, she needs to email me (robindawn at gmail dot com) with a shipping address. Boobies will be on the way post-haste.

If you'd like to see how the previous auctions worked, you can check them out here, here and here.

Here's the goods on the scarf: it's 4 inches wide by 49 inches long, knit from Dive Teseo in color #28222. The yarn's 55% wool and 45% microfiber, which makes it so, so, so soft. As for the colors, well, they reminded me of sunset. Particularly, a late 1970s sunset, like the ones often seen on velour upholstery. I had Escape (The Pina Colada Song) going through my head the whole time I was working on it.

Now, watch as the boobies begin their ride off into the sunset...

Posted by Robin at 10:29 PM | Comments (17)

April 05, 2006

What Boobies Have Taught Me

It's that time again! Time to auction another boobie scarf! Here's the drill, although you probably know it by now: my super-awesome cousin Wendy will be walking 60 miles in three days this August in The Breast Cancer 3-Day in Minneapolis. She's raising donations for The Susan G. Komen Foundation. Since I'm too lazy to walk, I'm opting to knit five of Jillian Moreno's boobie scarves. She's got a new book coming out next week called Big Girl Knits. If you're a big girl and you knit, you should buy it. I'm going to buy it. That is, unless someone would rather buy it for me.

Jodi donated $50 and won scarf #1. Suzy came out of lurking and won auction #2 with her generous $60 bid. Now, are you ready to see auction #3 before I get all philosophical and shit?

Behold! Rosey boobies! There are more photos after the jump. The scarf details: It's 46 inches long by 4 inches wide. It's knit with Fjord by Crystal Palace in "Roses", which is a lovely varigated blend of dark mauve, pink, and dark green. Think dark and light pink roses on their lovely green stems. The yarn's 100% wool, but it's not scratchy at all. It's super-soft and snuggly.

How the auction works:
1. Bidding starts at $30. Bids will be accepted until 5 PM central daylight time on Friday, April 7th. To bid, just leave a comment with the amount you're bidding.

2. Once bidding has ended and I've announced the winner, make your payment in the amount of your bid onWendy's 3-Day donation page. It's secure, with the money going directly to the Komen Foundation. We won't see any of your payment info. Leave a comment in your pledge message regarding the boobie scarf so I know it's you.

3. Send me your shipping info, and the scarf will be on its way. I'm paying all shipping charges, even if you don't live in the U.S. of A.

Easy, right? Now, go look at more pictures of the boobies, place some bids, make some donations, and read about my boobie epiphany...

For some reason I had a hard time getting a decent photo. Really, it's not much different than the previous two scarves, aside from the colors.

When I finished boobie scarf #2, I had the following converstion with Wendy:

Me: I don't need the pattern for the boobie scarf anymore. I've got it memorized. I can knit tits in my sleep.
Wendy: That's gonna look awesome on your resume!
Me: Yeah. I'm hoping to gain employment knitting for the adult entertainment industry.

Seriously, I'm sick to death of knitting boobies. It's not that they're hard. They were at first, but now that I've knit 96 individual boobs, they're easy. Too easy. Methodical. The kind of process that gets wedged in my brain and I find myself mentally doing them when I'm nowhere near my yarn. The only thing I can compare it to is, when I was 15 years old and spent 14 hours a day in the hot August sun, slinging sodas at the Missouri State Fair. When I'd finally crawl into bed, sweaty and sticky because I was too exhausted to shower, I'd imagine filling wax cups with Pepsi as I was falling asleep. Yeah, it's maddening.

It occured to me, of course, that I can just quit, which is what I did to that job on the fourth day. Three scarves is good. It's a nice little bit of money in Komen's coffers. It was fun and novel and cute, but no one's making me do this. I can quit anytime I want.

But then something occured to me. Do you know what's a hell of a lot harder than getting a little bored with knitting the same scarf over and over? Walking 60 miles in three days, that's what.

Do you know what's even harder than that? Going through chemo, or recovering from a mastectomy. Or waiting for biopsy results, waiting for the cancer to come back, waiting to die.

Suddenly, knitting boobs doesn't seem bad at all. It seems like an honor and a priviledge, something I should be thankful that I'm healthy enough to do while I sit at Starbucks for hours with my friends, or while Clara Jane leans against me on the couch, or while B. and I watch Walk the Line, knitting for three hours straight. I should be grateful to wake up with knitting-induced claw-hands the next day, grateful that I'm healthy, and so are all the women I love. If my deformed claw-hands do just a little bit to keep us that way, then it's worth it.

So, I'll keep knitting boobs until they total a perky little 160 (that's five scarves-worth). I might even do more as penance for even being so silly and lazy as to think that it's too boring or too hard. Here's hoping that knitting a lot of boobs is the hardest thing any of us ever have to do in our lives.

Posted by Robin at 10:38 PM | Comments (15)

March 21, 2006

More Boobies!

Remember when I auctioned a really snazzy boobie-bedecked scarf a few weeks ago? Well, I'm doing it again!

The background: My cousins Wendy rocks all that is rocking and is participating in The Breast Cancer 3 Day, in which she'll walk 60 miles in three days to raise money for The Susan G. Komen Foundation.

I'm much better at sitting on my ass than I am at walking great distances, what with my poor little flat feet. So, to do my part, I'm knitting five of Jillian Moreno's fabuloso boobie scarves. Jillian's also got a book coming out called Big Girl Knits that I want with every fiber of my being.

Get it? Knitting? Yarn? Fiber? Yeah, well, look at my boobies:

The details: You can own this scarf, knit by my very own little hands. The auction begins immediately (10 PM central standard time on Tuesday, March 21) and will end in 24 hours (10 PM central standard time on Wednesday, March 22). Bidding starts at $30. Place your bids in the comments and specifically state that you're bidding and what amount. Make sure you leave your email address!

100% of the auction amount will go to the 3-Day. I'm covering all the expenses for the scarf, and I'll even pay for the shipping, overseas included.

Once the winner has donated, she needs to email me with a shipping address. Boobies will be on the way post-haste.

Now, for the goodies on the scarf. It's 4.5 inches wide by 44 inches long and covered with glorious, nippled 3-D boobies. For you yarn nerds, I used Queensland Collection Kathmandu Aran Tweed yarn in ... I think it was called Celery, but I lost the lables. It's a gorgeous celery green with little bits of brown and light green tweeded in. This might be the softest yarn I've ever felt. It's 85% merino, 10% silk and 5% cashmere. It feels like loooooooooooove. It's warm without being too heavy.

Thanks in advance for bidding. Feel free to link back to this. The more the merrier. And because you're all so great, here's some more boob pictures:

If you'd like to see the last satisfied customer, pay Jodi a visit.

Now, bid!

Posted by Robin at 09:56 PM | Comments (15)

February 27, 2006

Hooray for Boobies!

~~I promise, this is the last time I'll mention this. Today's the last day to vote in the Share the Love Blog Awards. You've got until midnight central time tonight.~~
Runner-up in the "most inspiring" category! Thanks for those of you who, unlike my spouse, remembered to vote.

Now, on to much, much more important mooching.

This is my baby cousin Wendy. And by "baby" I mean she's almost 28 years old, but I still remember when she was born which means there's no way she can possibly be teetering on the verge of 30. Anyway ... I know many of you read Wendy's blog, Two Dolla dot Org, which is currently down for, um, let's say "repairs" and leave it at that.

Wendy did something amazingly cool last summer. She successfully completed the The Breast Cancer 3-Day in Boston. In the course of three days, she walked - walked with her feet, people! - 60 miles to raise money for the Susan G. Komen Foundation. I don't think my fat ass has walked 60 miles in 2006 combined. And yet, despite the blisters, the sweat, the sleeping outside, and the foot-rot she endured during her walk, she's doing it again, this time in her adopted hometown of Minneapolis.

Do you like Wendy's scarf? It's pretty cool, all pink and littered with boobies of every shape and size. Go on, admit it. You want to tweek a nipple, don't you? Would you like a closer look?

I knit this piece of loveliness from a fabulous pattern Jillian Moreno published at knitty.com. Jillian also has a book coming out in April titled Big Girl Knits, and you know I'm all over that business.

For all you knitting geeks, this scarf is made with Araucania Nature Wool in color #42. It's a lovely, lightly varigated pink, 100% soft Chilean wool. I used two strands and #9 needles. The scarf measures 54" by 4.75" Is it perfect? Of course not. It's a little lumpy in parts. One series of boobs are a little ... connected. There's definitely some dog and cat hair knitted into it.

This scarf - along with the four others I intend to knit - can be yours. Here's the deal:

Starting right now, this scarf is up for auction, right here on my blog. You have until 5 p.m. central time tomorrow (Tuesday, February 28th).

The starting bid is $30

Place your bid in the comments. Please say "I'm bidding $_______." You can comment even if you're not bidding. Only comments that implicitely state that they are a bid will be counted. It's not like a real-life auction where, if you scratch your nose at the wrong time, you've bought it.

The winning bidder will make the payment directly to Wendy's 3-Day fundraising page, which is through the 3-Day's official website. I won't see your payment info. Wendy's won't see your payment info. It's all safe and secure.

Once the winning bidder forwards her payment reciept to me at poppymom at gmail.com (remove any credit card numbers, please!), along with her shipping address, I'll ship the scarf at my own expense. That's right, I'm paying the shipping, even if you live overseas.

I'm also covering the cost of the yarn. 100% of your bid will go directly to the Komen Foundation.

If you've got questions, I'll answer 'em. This is all new to me, too.

Now, bid!

Posted by Robin at 02:18 PM | Comments (18)